A
female
age
41-50,
*ae dae
writes:i been dating this guy for a few months and we get along great he is a Libra and i am a Gemini, the problem is he claims he been hurt very bad in the past so he wants to take things slow, but he says he wants to be with me and calls me his girlfriend but he never spent one whole night with me he just comes to visit me almost daily for a hour or two and then he has to go home as if he had a curfew. He claims to live with his father we talked about him moving in with me but when i bring it up he brings up his past and he wants to take it slow. BTW he is 35 and im 26 i really love him and i know he loves me and he loves and adores my baby girl but i was wondering if he is still involved with his ex or is the reason for his non commitment and lack of consistency and closeness have to do with him being hurt in his past relationships and being afraid of being hurt again. PLEASE HELP thanks a lot.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (22 February 2010):
 You love him, but is this man free to love you. Ask this man to invite you to his home, or as suggested, follow him home one night. We can't make this man free, and we can't make him love you. We think that he's already married or committed.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): yeah, he has a gf at home.. i doubt he lives with his dad.. more like his gf. maybe you should just show up at his house one day. or offer to meet him over there and be persistant. Like "i want to have lunch, dinner or just hang out at your house today" don't give him room to say no. Just do it and say common lets go. Bet he wets his pants! freaks out and starts piling out the excuses.. then you have your answer don't you?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): Even if he doesn't have a girlfriend, he sounds a bit weird anyway. what 35 year old has a curfew? i'm 19 and i'm allowed to stay out all night..
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A
female
reader, dae dae +, writes (22 February 2010):
dae dae is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice you all bu i really love this man, is it possible that if i let go he will realize he has a good thang and eventually give in i asked if theres someone else and he denys it and he always talk about keeping it real and he has no reason 2 lie 2 me and he also says he is not trying to string me along and he wants 2 b with me but i feel like there maybe his ex cant let go of im really hurt of the thought cause do seem like a good person what should i say to him or do to open his eyes
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A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (22 February 2010):
 Hi there hun, Prepare yourself for some bad news. Get a friend or someone to follow him home one day.
Do you know his address? I'm pretty sure he's living with another woman. Why can't you go to his place and find out for sure?
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A
male
reader, weparley +, writes (22 February 2010):
It's not science... "The man has a gf."
"Wake up!" . . .
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 February 2010):
!!! ??? A curfew at 35. Just visiting for a few hours and then he goes home? Sure he's not married or still actually living with his ex? Because something is very wrong here.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (22 February 2010):
Sorry it all sounds a bit fishy to me. He's 35 years old, but he can't stay out overnight. Yep he might want to take things slow, and yes he might not want to move in. But staying overnight is a problem??
Sorry to say, if I were in your situation, the first thing I would think is that he has either a woman or a girlfriend at home and that's why he can't stay. A single man at 35years old should be able to stay out all night.
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