A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Tuesday 8 May 10.30 amMy 14 year old granddaughter is bright, but lazy and prefers to spend time with friends than study. She consequently is not reaching her potential at school. Recently, through the recommendation of a family friend, she was offered an after-school job doing odd jobs in a very prestigious ladies clothes shop - she was thrilled at the idea (particularly of the money). Last night my daughter phoned to tell me the family friend has reported that the manager is not too pleased with my granddaughter as she shows no initiative and stands around, unless asked to do a specific job.My daughter has asked me to collect her from school this afternoon and have a chat with her on the way to work. HELP? What should I say to motivate her?
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male
reader, sleepyhollow  +, writes (9 May 2007):
If she's really bright, with a genius level IQ, the problem may be the lack of challenge. If she has been tested and this is the case, the next step may be that yourself, and her parents, need to step up to bat for her and push for more difficult and challenging course work.
As for lack of initiative at the work place, I tend to find that poor management is usually the cause of this. Not everybody knows how to manage people of above board intelligence. The end result is usually a lack of initiative and subversive tactics employed against management, ie. creative sabotage.
And then there's the fact that raising a bright child is one of the most difficult things a parent can do. The single most important lesson parents of bright children neglect to teach their children is that everything they do should be done to the best of their abilities. This can mean that feeding the pets, gardening, taking out the trash are not all entirely boring and mindless activities. All activities can be improved upon with a little brain power applied.
So, in the case of her job, ask her if there is anything you think should be done differently at the store. Have her take a note pad to work, and have her write down her thoughts. If she's really lazy, she won't have any suggestions at all. If she's just bright and bored, she'll have quite a few ideas. Apply this technique to her school work, and to her chores.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, Mr Ian +, writes (8 May 2007):
 Hey being the similar style of person I'm trying to motivate myself! I know for a fact I could do a lot better at college, but when it comes around to doing work or revision I cant find the umph!! What ive started doing is finding myself something that gives me an urge to succeed, whatever that may be - everyone needs a burning desire to be or do something. I'm looking at potential University courses, i find one i really like the look of, and then look at the grades required! I panic at the look of them and that motivates me.
Seriously, the last thing she needs is tv/computers to stare into. It doesnt develop any character, experience, lifestyle etc. I find girls can become sucked into MSN messenging on the computer. Whether she does or not I have to moan because I think it slows people down. Find a hobby, activity, anything to get her away from the lazy lifestyles that we as humans enjoy having. others may disagree. Either way find an activity or a motivation that will give life benefits - as i'm sure you well know, if you dont put in 100% you won't get 100%.
Hope that helped...x
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (8 May 2007):
 It is important a that age to find something which THEY REALLY enjoy doing. Ask her what she REALLY likes doing, maybe an out of school activity. Talk to her as an adult and do not try and point out too many negatives; this will only discourage her and put her into a defensive mode.
Everyone enjoys something at that age whether they like to admit it or not (it may just be cool); and there must be a subject at school or a sport or something which gets her interested. Sporting activities are excellent for refreshing the brain so that would'nt be a bad idea.
It is important how you tackle this and that people around her show interest in her "interests", that will help motivate her and give her more confidence in herself and her abilities.
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A
female
reader, Just a Girl... +, writes (8 May 2007):
 hey. From a teenagers point of veiw i have to say, shes a typical teenager. Things just dont seem fun when you add the words study, school or work onto a sentence. Talk to her about what she wants for the future and find a way to come to a compromise about balanceing the amount of school work and fun. If she has somthing to look forward to, like a treat then maybe it will give her somthing to work for.
take care xxx
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