A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is mroe advice for my friend. I have a male friend - he's one of my best friends and I love him to pieces - not in a romantic way, but as a friend. We're really close. A while ago he told me he was in love with me, and although I adore him, I had to explain to him we are only just friends. I tried to to do this as nice as possible and to let him down gently. It hurt us both - hurt him obviously more, but hurt me too because I felt as if I was the one who had hurt him. Since then he has always seem really down and has become obsessed with the idea of getting a gf. He's even joined one of those online dating agency things. He constantly asks me if he is good bf material and brings himself down, saying he is fat and that he will never find anyone. I worry that it is me saying we were only best friends which as brought this on. What can I say to him to help bring his confidence back without giving him the impression we are more than just friends?
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male
reader, Instant Classic +, writes (9 January 2008):
I've been on the other end of this, dont be too hard, be do come down on him, it'll do the world of good if u tell him sommat like, 'I love u to bits as a FRIEND, but I'll never see u as anything more, I'll help u as much as I can but please get over me'
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (7 January 2008):
 There is nothing you can do for him, because anything you tell him would be seen as a lie. If you tell him he is good boyfriend material, then why are YOU not dating him?
The BEST thing you can do for him is introduce him to other women. Either go out with him, and help him meet other women, or date and have sex with him yourself. Anything else, and you are USING HIM for attention. It is nice to have someone around that has feelings for you, but unless you either date him yourself, or actively help him meet other women, you ARE hurting him, by sticking around him, leading him on, and giving him false hope.
If you are really his friend, you will listen to my suggestions.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 January 2008):
 He just have to take it like a man . No words can console him.Don't try too hard. He will rebound in time. The less said the less obvious.It may hurt a while but he should be Ok.
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