A
male
age
30-35,
*mpatient
writes:So.. I have been with this girl for a bit over two years now. one and a half of it being long distance.We broke up recently, basically we were breaking and making up for the last 3 months of the relationship. This was the final one basically and as this continued each consecutive breakup got worse, She became more rude,more aggressive, I cant blame her, I am to blame for the most part. As I have lied,hidden and cheated on her. Most of which she has found out. At the beginning we had an amazing relationship, she would have done a lot for me, but i was very unappreciative, and always nagged about the little things instead of just enjoying the bigger picture. Now she is the complete opposite of the woman I originally fell in love with. It really hurts me now to see what she has become and what's worse is knowing that I am a major reason for her change. She hated that I was a hypocrite, as I had a lot of female friends and I would go clubbing and do all sorts of recreational activities, but I did not like her hanging out with other males who she did not know or were not close friends. The last time we got back, I made sure i tried my best in treating her right, but she broke up with me for a weird reason. This friend of mine who is a female speaks to me quite often, so My ex asked me if she tried hitting on me or something, I said no, because she never did. My ex kept asking ,if I am lying or not. Then i went like, your guy friends call you,I dont doubt you so much do I. So she told me If i ever doubt here again,she would break up with me. So that same day,she added this guy on facebook. I asked her who he is, she said just a friend, I was like, how come you never told me about him, she goes like, i dont need to tell you anything. Then she goes like, you are doubting me, we are over. Now knowing my girl, she could have deliberately set it up, because she knew I was going to ask who the guy is, so i feel like she just wanted to breakup. Now we dont talk. I do miss her and feel really bad for turning her into something she was never meant to be. I feel like I can't forgive myself. sigh
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broke up, clubbing, facebook, fell in love, long distance, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, impatient +, writes (25 September 2011):
impatient is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks a lot for the responses. much appreciated. Yea I reckon not a day goes by where I don't think about what I had and how I lost it to my own selfishness. I do not know if I can approach her anymore.Also another reason I don't want to contact her is since I have not told her about the one night stands. It would hurt her if i did and make her hate me more. I feel since we are broken up anyway, I do not have any reason to hurt her any further. I would love to be back with her though, but dont think it's possible.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2011): I think what you can learn from this is never cheat and trust is the cornerstone to all relationships.Sorry cheat and your out mate, well you should be anyway. She will never completely trust you again, it's a basic human defence mechanism.Consider it a life lesson and learn from it. Making mistakes is part of life but repeating the same mistakes is stupidity ;-)
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A
female
reader, amh87  +, writes (21 September 2011):
I understand that is hard. Problem is, there is trust issues. BIG trust issues. The point she is making, (which I admit I do a lot) is that if my boyfriend makes a bag issue over something small and something he KNOWS not to worry about makes me wonder, what he is doing. So, in other words, she is seeing you acting guilty for even questioning her on her actions. Best bet, is to tell her how you feel.Tell her, you will do anything to prove that your not going to hurt her again. Which means, even if she is being super mean you have to stick by her. I have done this numerous times to my boyfriend because of our past, because I have issues trusting him, but he takes every bit of it. Told me he is going to prove me that he is being truthful now and that he is not going to do what he has done in the past again. So, now things are better.Hopefully, explaining to her how you feel and how you want to work things out will be the first step in speaking to each other again.
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