A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I've been posting on this site over the course of my relationship...I broke up with my ex a few weeks ago. I was in a controlling relationship, and even though we have a 10 month old infant I had to end it. So, we're living together until she moves out in april. The problem is that she still tries to start arguments or control me even though we're not a couple. I dont want any drama I've endured that for 2 years. She's hit me once and I'm since I'm male, she gets away with it...What can I do to 'survive' until she moves out?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 February 2010):
Spend as much time away from her as you can. Every time she goes to start an argument, leave the room. You're not a couple anymore, so she has no right to shout, and you have every right not to listen. She can't tell you to come back, or to get out. Nothing. Every time she starts, just leave the room.
A
female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (2 February 2010):
I too lived with my ex for a while after seperating and it was futile, ... the dynamic is already there and as long as nothing has physically changed (as in living arrangements) the people in it don;t always change.
I found myself having to repetedly remind my ex that I was not actually his partner coz he just kept treating me in the same manner that led to me splitting with him in the first place.
Until one of you get's out the door, don't expect anything much to change. My opinion.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): Try to not be around her? And also, maybe just do what you did that made you last 2 years with her, for just a little longer?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): Boy this is tough. I'm living with my wife (soon to be ex) and we decided to call it quits in August. It sucks. I also did this 11 years ago for four months with another ex. Not my favorite situation and everyone seems appaled that she's not moving out. Anyway, I understand. Here's what I do. I encourage her to spend as much time with her family (out of state) as she likes - so she's gone like half the time. When she's here, I find reason not to be around much. I go to the gym, meet with friends, take a weekend day to do something somewhere else. Maybe you could tell her that if you are both going to be together until April that she needs to make it tolerable for you which means you will both find reason to be apart and that you will not ALLOW abuse or her trying to control you. It's tough and I wish I knew a better answer for you. I do wish you luck...
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