A
female
age
41-50,
*leepingChrissie
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over two years. Recently, I have been feeling alone. I feel like he isn't interested in me. When I try to tell him how I feel, I end up feeling guilty and cry. He acts as if he doesn't notice that I am crying and plays his video games. When he tells me how he feels I listen and try to comfort him.When we go out with my friends he starts acting as if he is tired or doesn't feel well. The other night we were invited to go to the comedy club with his friends, but when the show was over everyone started dancing he wouldn't even dance with me. When I go with him to do the things that make him happy I don't act as if I don't want to be around his friends. They like to play video games so I join in instead of making myself an outcast. At first I felt embarrassed around them b/c I wasn't good at there games but I did it anyway because it made him happy. I just feel like he doesn't want me around. To be honest our sex life is uneventful and we only have sex ... once a month and that is when I make him. I have tried all kinds of things to get him in the mood and I feel like I'm failing. I often wonder if its me or him. He tells me quite frequently, that he is fat and ugly; I don't know what I have done to make him feel this way. I think is a great guy, I'm just feeling confused. I know this is terrible, but I have been feeling so alone that I am starting to feel attracted to anyone who will hold up a conversation with me. I feel ashamed of myself for feeling this way. What can I do to save our relationship?
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in the mood, sex life, video games Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007): don't worry sweetie its not you and if he feels that way about himself.he needs to find a way to figure out how to love who he is or start working out and if it takes you going for walk everyday with him or going to the gym so be it.when it comes to your love life .see if you can talk about your problems and if he doesn't want to than i maybe would rethink your relationship there are plenty of good guys in this world whether you believe it or not.so be strong and do what you have to do always remember your number one
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Let's hope things improve.
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A
female
reader, SleepingChrissie +, writes (10 July 2007):
SleepingChrissie is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for replying to my question. I have talked to him, and unfortunately didn't hear what I hoped for. He has decided to go to a college that is three hours away instead of attending the one he was last year, which is in our town... he says it not me though. I agree that the college three hours from hear has its benefits but I don't know why he is choosing to go now, when I tried to get him to go last year before I accepted a career offer. I guess I'll see what happens when he goes to school this fall.
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A
female
reader, LauraE  +, writes (9 July 2007):
You have tried very hard, done all the right things, with no improvement. I can’t tell whether he is depressed, or just self-centred and selfish. If you suspect the latter, then it’s over. No need to feel guilty, just get on with your life. If you think he might have sunk into a depression, try to persuade him to get help from his doctor or a counsellor. But like Danielepew has said, you can’t make him do this, and you can’t make a relationship work on your own. Life is too short to stick with someone that will not try.
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (9 July 2007):
 Here is lack of communication between partners.
I think that you are different from each other.
This is quite normal, but in a relationship you need to talk.
Advice to "I am starting to feel attracted to anyone who will hold up a conversation with me" - you should speak to your BF.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (9 July 2007):
Apparently you have serious problems. It is not possible to save a relationship unless the two parties cooperate. So I think you should try to get him involved. If he won't, well, the relationship will be doomed.Obviously you are being neglected. Your confusion has a good foundation.We're here if you need help.
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