A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been married to my loving wife for more than 6 months now and i do not know if i really love her. Before my wife came around i fell in love with a girl and she ended up cheating on me after 2 years of dating. i was so heartbroken and depressed that i didn't really care anymore. i decided that if i was ever going to be in a serious relationship again it would be with someone who i knew i could trust fully. soon after i met my wife and we went out a few times. she was really naive in the ways of the world and had never had a boyfriend.i don't know what caused it but i thought i fell in love with her. we got married 9 months later and have been married for 6 months now. i have recently started thinking of my old girlfriend again and have begun talking to her. i realized that i really love her and would be willing to give her another chance but i am married now. i am also old fasioned and getting a divorce no matter of reason would be out of the question for me. so my question is what can i do to make my present situation work?
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depressed, divorce, fell in love, heartbroken, my ex, never had a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): I think you should forget your ex. She cheated on you before. That shows you what kind of character she has. If you dump your current wife for a cheat you may deeply regret it a year from now. Perhaps you should consider what would make you happy now. Then when you determine this, you can talk to your wife about it. She may be cooperative in whatever it is that will make you happy. It appears you main task is to determine what will make you happy. What do you want from life.
A cheat never really cares about what will make you happy.
A
male
reader, polarkite +, writes (4 February 2008):
 Well, unless you live in Utah, you are going to have to decide between your wife and your ex, and then commit. It's not easy, but is it really fair to your wife to be married to her and not love her? That's not really what marriage is supposed to be about, especially not at your age. You might also consider therapy, I mean it doesn't sound like you really know what makes you tick. I'd suggest spending some time trying to figure out why you are acting the way you are. Figure out what you are feeling. Once you figure out more about yourself, you might try even telling your wife about what you are feeling. It might be hard for her to hear, and there will be consequences, but at least you'll be honest with her. Maybe you can find a way to recapture the reasons you loved her. Have you really given her a chance? Or has everything you've done been caused by what your ex did to you?
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