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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a really big problem with my parents and I want to get their trust back. I am 17 years old and have recently been going drinking in pubs, bars and clubs. I lied about it and they found out now they don't trust me anymore and don't believe a word I say and I am really hurt and upset. I don't know what to do to make them trust me again? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): well i know how you fell with your parents not trusting you because write now at this moment my mum dusnet trust me and off course no one can blame hur.the reason for my mum not trusting me is because of the way i accted i was wrong i know that now and i did at the point so now she cant trust me and the reason for that is because i was silly enough to go out and get drunk and then return home and from then on my mum ask what im doing who with and where?well the way a am goin to earn my trust back is pull up my socks and show i have responsibilites.Work harder in school and talk to my mum let her knwo that i know i am wrong and then take it from there.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): well for your parents to trust you all you half to do is become a better person thats all my parents are the same way about me and i am 17 years old also and they dont let me go anywhere or anything ands its only because i cant be trusted anymore
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2006): What happened to the unconditional love that parents are expected to have for their children?
They have taken a hit to their egoes over your neglect to consider your choices clearly enough so that you do not hurt those you love and lose their respect and trust for you.
You have a hard road ahead.
I think offering a heartfelt apology would be a start.
What were the conditions or restrictions that were put in place following this underage drinking? This behaviour does reflect poorly on your parents but this should not deter them in asking themselves what part did they play in leading you to believe that it was acceptable for you to do what you did? What was your curfew? Were they actively involved in knowing your friends and meeting the parents of your freinds? Were they too liberal in giving you freedom?
Either way, it is good to know you have serious remorse and are absolutely to accept the consequences-now is the time to rebuild that trust.
Having loss the respect and trust of the people you love is a very hard lesson to learn and indure.
I hope your parents can give you the respect and trust you need in time so that you do not feel worse then you already do.
A sincere broken heart and being humbled should be recognized and then moving on to rebuilding and focusing and rededicating needs to be done for all involved.
Best of luck Kiddo.
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male
reader, cherub +, writes (22 July 2006):
 Your feeling of hurt and upset nevertheless reflected that something is wrong.If you are aware and accept your action is wrong then only will you want to change them.Your parents I am sure felt just as bad if not worse mainly because they brought you up with values and principles and guided you with morals and I am sure honesty is top of the list.
I am also sure they love you dearly and even though there was a breach of trust,their unconditional love for you will forgive you and learn to trust you again.However,like Irish 49 said trust need to be earned.Apologise for your action will be a start,it doesn't mean you are sorry for drinking in pubs and clubs(you did enjoyed them,right?)but sorry for not telling them first and hurting them.Then the three of you communicate on how to rebuild trust through your actions.It may even surprise you that they could compromise to some of your wishes because they love you as you love them.Be opened and transparent and the relationship can only grow stronger.
You are young and want to experience life on the fast lane,all I can say is there will be time for that when you are a little bit older and you will enjoy them.Best wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2006): Trust is earned back slowly..in baby steps. It's earned through hard work and efforts on your part. Your repeated assurances that it won't happen again, will likely not work. You earn it through responsible action combined with complete honesty and As I said...it's a long process. That is good information to know..it will help you not sabotage yourself in the future. Your parents have set family standards and one of them is not to lie and be dishonest. I think they want you to learn a lesson and they expect more from you. Show your parents that you don’t have to be argumentative about this. Just do the time and work hard...it would be the mature thing to do. Good luck, dear and hang in there.
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