A
male
age
36-40,
*ow84
writes:On Xmas day my Girlfriend of 2 years left me. We where living with her parents while we saved for our own place. The reasons she gave me was because it had become difficult with her family. The relationship was a good one many happy times together we laughed so much. We planned our future together.Since Xmas day lots of things have gone on. She changed her number as i txt her a lot. She went to New York without me over valentines and when she got back she has now stopped talking to me. But during this period apart we have met up once she cried when we met up saying that it was strange. We then kissed hugged it had so much passion. She has admitted that she has missed me and asked if i was seeing anyone over valentines. She even said that she was said that i was not going to New York with her. When she got back from New York she said that through out all this i never gave her a grand gesture to show her that i was willing to fight for her so she had lost respect. I sent flowers etc but i said to her the grandest gesture would be to treat her like the special person she is once again. I really love this girl never enjoyed life as much as i have when we where together. Right now and i guess in the past i have been a pest ie calls, emailsWe have not spoken (emailed/im) in over two weeks. Since xmas day i have seen myself go down hill losing weight and beoming a nervous mess. All my efforts have been trying to get her back. My family are concered. I know that i have to think of myself i really do. I am thinking about writing her a letter to tell her how much she means to me etc. We have known each other for years and as we worked together first. It seamed like fate how nad when we got together everything happened so easy Is the anything i can do to have this women in my life again
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (12 March 2009):
 Honestly? You need to start taking care of yourself first. It seems that you have based part of your existence in this girl and that's not healthy. When you get to a point of NEEDING someone in your life instead of wanting them, that can become a problem. So I think that would be step 1.
I also would advise that you cool it with the contacting. You don't need to stop altogether, but just chill out. You recognize that you've been a pest, so that's good. If you feel you need to write her a letter, then do that, but have that be it. Leave it up to her to contact you. I mean, the girl changed her number due to your excessive texting and you're still trying to contact her? I'm not trying to be cruel here, I'm just trying to get you to realize that you need to slow it down. She broke up with you for a reason, whatever that was.
In terms of a grandest gesture, that would entail wanting her to be happy, even if it's not with you. If she's happiest without you, you need to be able to live with that. And if she wants you as much as you want her, that's great for both of you. :)
Your next step should be either writing that letter or instead, sitting down to talk with her and settling this whole thing.
masq
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