A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am 45 years old and am dating a man age 46. He bartends on the side and know many woman. I do go into his phone every now and then and find evidence of him texting and receiving texts from females some of which are dirty (sexting) and numerous phone calls he has made or received. I have confronted him on this and he says they are nothing and mean nothing. This is how we hooked up when he was in a previous relationship. He will stop for a while then back at it again. I ask him how would he feel if i text or sext another man and he flips out that i shouldnt do anything like that. I dont know how else to stop him from doing this. I have thought about leaving him and when I do, he is calling and texting me to come back. I've thought about making him jealous but feel that is childish. Im tired of always thinking everytime he is texting it is to a female he shouldnt be texting to. What can I do to get him to stop or should I just leave him and move on and maybe in the future he will realize he lost a good thing.
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jealous, move on, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I told him I was packing my stuff n moving back to my apt. I dnt want to be wit him. He sed he only wants me n no 1 else. I told him NO n we can stay frenz since we work togeher. I did this by phone n text. He flipped out so lets see eat happens.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Wow, 3 years you've invested into this guy? Your best bet is to perhaps find a new gig. I know for me it would be tough seeing an "ex" every day at work.
If he continues to call after you've told him not to, you may have a legitimate claim of sexual harassment, especially if he is a co-worker. You could also get a new phone number too and be smart about who you give your number out to.
Sounds like you need to make the next move and be strong in your resolve in cutting all ties with him.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u for all ur replies. They hurt hearing it from strangers but u all mean well are being truthful. He's not gonna stop no matter what I do or say. Its been 3 years like this and I cant take no more. I forgot to mention I also work with him so how do I handle seeing him when at work? I tried leaving him before n tried avoiding seeing him for 3 weeks but then he started calling me and testing me he couldn't be without me and I took him back.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (21 December 2010):
I agree with the other answers. This guy has repeatedly shown a total lack of respect for you. I think you are largely fooling yourself into thinking that you have a serious relationship with this guy.
Before you go any further, you should ask yourself if you want to live like this for the rest of your life. It is obvious that he has no intention of stopping and there are no magic solutions in making him stop this behavior.
Do yourself a favor and move on.
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A
female
reader, Joosifruit +, writes (20 December 2010):
 He has made it clear you can take it or leave it by showing you that he isn't going to stop 'sexting' other women. You deserve a man who respects you and your feelings. If you do leave stop the communication because you believe whatever he is telling you. But his actions have been apparent in the relationship what he wants from you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): You have tried and he hasn't changed. Dump him! You deserve someone who treats you like the special person you are.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (20 December 2010):
 Leave him. He is cheating and you are allowing it to continue if you stay with him. You should never be worried when your boyfriend picks up the phone that he is talking to another female inappropriately. A relationship without trust is unbearable, I know. I feel terrible for you, he is a piece of crap. And you were right not to try and make him jealous, it is petty and immature. Just dump him and let him flirt with whoever the hell he wants. You can do better. And next time don't date a guy who flirts with you when he is already dating someone else. He will just turn around and do the same to you.
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