A
female
age
36-40,
*ittencat.86
writes:I love this guy since my age was 14 and now I’m 21, in all these years I’ve been through a lot, and here is my story:me and this guy (A) were living at the same bldg. at the first time I saw him I fall in love with him it was a love from the first sight I wanted to talk to him but then I knew that he is talking with some girl that I know so I decided to forget about him but then he start calling me at home and talking with me with out saying who is and after 1mth of talking with out even know who I’m talking with he finally told me his name I was really surprised and happy at the same time but I didn’t knew what to say, then I asked about that girl and he answered that she was just a friend, so we started a relationship.Sometimes we were fighting and other times stop talking to each other for no reason, anyway after 2yrs of our relation my dad knew about it and he got so mad from me and he forced me to get marry with somebody else ( it’s was his stupid wife idea “not my mother” my mother is dead ) and I couldn’t do anything then because I was only 16yrs old, so I got married and I moved to live in Canada with my husband ( I used to live in the middle east ) and when I got 18yrs I’ve got the divorce from my husband because I couldn’t love him and I was still in love with ( A ), so I came back to my country but I didn’t find him there and I knew that he is studying in Dubai, but I asked his friend to give me his num. there and he did so, I called him and we’ve talked but he told me that he can go into a relation now with out saying what the reason is and he forgot about me anyway, but we can be just friends. One day I was going to the mall and while I’m waiting for a taxi I looked up at his home and I saw him standing out his balcony but I didn’t make any movement but he did, he told me with his hands to come upstairs and I did, we were setting and talking and suddenly he came closer to me, held my hands and he told me that he really loved me and he still but he can’t do any thing to me because he is not ready yet and maybe it’s will take him so many years to be, and he dropped just 1 tear, I told him that I’ll wait, but he said no, he is not going to give me any hope or promise that to live with because no 1 know what will happen tomorrow.So we’ve kept it just friends relationship, but sometimes when we see each other we had sex but with out saying anything after it or for me don’t knowing what’s going on! Years passed by and suddenly again we didn’t talked with each other any more ( I can’t remember any reason ), I went through a new relation from 2yrs trying to forget him but I couldn’t, I kept thinking of him and calling my new boyfriend with his name so I searched for him again and I found him but the most killing surprise was he told me that he is in a relationship from 2yrs and he is going to engage this girl after few months, but I pretended that I didn’t care and I’m happy for him and then we were talking on the phone and he told me why don’t you come over to my house and I said ok, I went there and while we were setting he came and sat closer to me, he hugged me very tight, kissed me and then he told me that he still in love with me but he can’t do any thing now because he promised that girl to marry her and he love her, I start crying and he calmed me down and after that I can’t remember how things goes and we’ve had sex !!!! And he didn’t said anything after it and he acted like nothing happened even he was so cold with me. So that is my story, please people I need your help in two things the first one: how can I figure out if he still in love with me or if he really ever loved me in the past or he was just telling me that he love only to get what he want from me (sex) and then through me away? ( Note: I can’t ask any of his friend because he don’t tell them about his relations as he told me and even if they know maybe they’ll lie for him ). The second thing: how can I get him back to my life and be his girlfriend again? Please people help me, give me any idea, I’m dieing here ( I went to the hospital 3 times this week from thinking of this, my health is going too bad ) . Please give me your help and ideas as soon as you can because I’m also going back to Canada after 3 weeks and I wanna know what to do with him before I leave.Thank you all to take the time to read my story and I’m so sorry to make it that long but I wanted to give a full vision about it so you can give me the right answers.D.K
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (4 December 2007):
 hes just using you for sex whenever he feels like it ,and you deserve so much more than that! guys sometimes say i love you to manipulate their lovers because that is all you were his play thing his sex toy. you need to move on to a proper relationship not an on off fling. he never loved you it seems to me like a sham, a lie. even if you did get back with him honey could you really trust him? he screws you then drops you is that really the type of relationship you want out of life when there are others out there who would appreaciate your value as a woman?as a person another human being? keep telling yourself i am beautiful i am the best, he is crap full of crap!. youve done the chasing for now let it lie if he really loved you the way you believe he did then you would have sustained a relationship by now. this bum about him being not ready is utter crap because he proposed to somebody if thats not ready i don't know what is! move on with your life , NOW
A
male
reader, ShyGuy78  +, writes (3 December 2007):
 Long story, short summary- you are simply one of his sex toys! Not much to advise out here. Read your own story and see how conveniently he never committed to you by making dumb excuses. Inspite of all this if you truly feel for him then just let him fulfill his promise to the other female and let them be happy! Move on, get him out of your system. You will end up with true love sooner or later!Wish you luck!
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