A
male
age
30-35,
*uju62861
writes:Ok so I am 18 and my ex gf is 17. She broke up with me the day after Thanksgiving (a little over a month ago). I deserved to be dumped b/c I treated her like complete sh*t. I mainly did this b/c I was hurting so bad inside. I went to the Doctor December 14th (without anyone asking me to get help, so that right there shows you I am wanting to change!) and he diagnosed me with a severe case of clinical depression. I am currently getting my meds under control and start therapy next week.I contacted my ex today for the first time in nearly 3 weeks and she said that she loves me, she misses me, but she doesnt want to get hurt again. She said it will be months (yes, she said months!) before we can even become semi-friends again. I couldnt believe this! I had admitted to lying to her in the past today, I have also been manipulative towards her, and I always got mad at her over little things, but I have apologized hundreds of times for not getting help sooner; but other than this crap, our near year long relationship was perfect. She said that its caused so much stress on both our families (my bro and her half sister are married...its really not weird or anything so i dont want anyone talking crap), and I will agree that it has. Her parents disagree with her dating me b/c they think we just arent right for each other. So what can I say to her to get her to give me another chance so I can show her I have changed!?! B/c each time I ask her to hang out she says no.**Oh and I dont want to wait to long to get a relationship going again b/c in 7 months we will be going to different colleges that are about 30 minutes apart. But dont tell me to just move on b/c I am in absolute love with this girl and I just cant do that! Thanks a lot everyone! :)
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female
reader, Holli'  +, writes (12 January 2010):
 My sister was in the same position your girlfriend is in.
You are both in love with each other, but you have slightly put her off by your behavior towards her. You know what you did was wrong, and you are helping yourself become a better person. As a girl I think the best way to get her to give you a second chance if to express your feelings to her, a poem could be a little over dramatic, so how about calling her for a friendly chat, then taking the talk onto the seriouse relationship subject, giving her compliments and telling her how much she means to you. If your truely in love with this girl you'll never stop trying. Make her understand you've changed for the better and you feel worthy of a second chance.
Good luck, I hope it all works out for you, and I hope I helped.
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (11 January 2010):
 First thing is that is a huge step in the right direction when you went on your own to get help. I'm sure that she took note of that and is why she is still talking to you. You need to spend the time being her friend and showing her that you can take care of yourself. Start with talking to her for a bit and don't push getting together every time. Try to be patient. As for a time line give it a couple of months but I would think she would make a definite choice before 7 months has past.
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