A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I need help. I don't have anyone I can talk to or anyone I can trust with my heart/feelings so I came to you guys. I just need to get some things off my chest. Why me? Why does everything have to be wrong with me? It's like I'm cursed, like I don't deserve happiness. I don't have any "real" friends and I don't get along well with my parents/siblings, so I have to deal with things on my own. Everyday I have to wear a mask to please the crowd, when in truth I'm hurting and deteriorating inside. I have to deal with all the external problems in my life and the internal ones; Insecurity, self doubt, low self esteem, feeling like I'll never be good enough for anything and anyone. For the past 3-4 years I've just sort of given up on life in general. I don't really care about anything anymore and have been very depressed and antisocial. I'm pretty much socially awkward even though I'm good at making it look like I'm not. I know that some places out there, there are people going through things that are 10x worse, but that doesn't mean my pain hurts any less. I'm a 16 yr old closeted boy and I just don't think I can make it alone anymore. I want people that I care about to come in my life. If not a partner, at least a really good friend. I've never been able to say that I've had a "best friend" because everyone I know are really fake and shady.They use you at their disposal, and when they don't need you anymore, they throw you away. So all I want right now is for someone to love me just as much as I love them. I want a boy to come into my life and save me from this darkness. But from my position, it seems that that won't be happening anytime soon I have no chance. And I know everyone says "It gets better," Yeah I know. But right now sucks.What can I do in the attempt of changing my life around?
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male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (14 June 2011):
 When I was in high school... I took this course/program thing 'led' by one my instructors. He wasn't my 'favorite' high school teacher... but I'm SO GLAD that I took the course/program - it REALLY REALLY helped me out. It's expensive and if you can't afford the full course - I would at least recommend buying just the audio CDs.
Google: Adventures in Attitudes - It's not commonly referred to as AiA Classic
Read the book: "Love" by Leo Buscaglia, lookup some of his videos on YouTube
On YouTube, watch "Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams"
As Sweet-Thing says... it takes a while to un-program yourself.
And... there IS someone out there who'll be your best friend. You've already identified those you DON'T want as your friends, but that can't include everyone around you. You might not find him/her immediately but you'll find one (or more). I met my best friend from high school in Junior High as we were both registering for class. I initially thought he was the biggest DORK I'd ever seen. He was, when we graduated from high school, still a dork but a truly great friend. In college, I met a guy whose kids now call me 'uncle'.
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (14 June 2011):
 You can pray. You can schedule some counseling sessions with a good therapist. You can buy that book "The Secret Power" and read it over and over again (well at least the first few chapters made sense anyhow, the book kind of went off track after that). It's like this; you have to believe in yourself first before anyone else will believe in you. Everytime you find yourself saying negative things to yourself, STOP in your tracks and rephrase the statement. Never, never, never tell yourself you are cursed. Those words carry a self-fulfilled prophecy and the cycle will never be broken as long as you believe these things. Everytime you see the glass as half empty, show yourself how full it really is! Practice it over and over and over again. You didn't get this way over night, it will take time to un-program yourself. When you wake up and you think "Crap, it's Monday...I hate Mondays, I'm probably gonna have a shitty day today." STOP and say to yourself "It's Monday, God has a plan for me today. Who will I make smile? Who can I make feel good today? What person will I help today?...I'm healthy. I'm young. I'm tall (thin, blonde, cute whatever applies) and I'm gonna be happy today no matter what. This is a beautiful day!" Do it! And every day you go out in the world you make eye contact with those around you and you smile genuinely. You say please and thank you. And when that annoying little old lady on the subway start yammering on about her life because she has no one to talk to you, you listen to her and you say nice things to her and when you get off that subway you're gonna feel much better. Cuz you don't wanna be that little old lady someday. So start investing in the kind of life you want to have. Not what you see right now before you, but you think about you really want. A husband? You clip a cute guy out of a magazine and put him on your fridge. You make a space in your bed for him. You can set a bowl for him every day when you have cereal and pretty soon he will become a reality. You will bump into him at the newspaper stand or whatever and suddenly you will smile and sparks will fly. You have to have faith. You have to plan for a happy future. They say you dress for the job you WANT to have. Well, you plan for the life you WANT to have. You buy the pieces of furniture you imagine you and your husband would enjoy. You surround yourself with things that bring you pleasure and happiness and those feelings will flow out of you. Right now you're just a bundle of negative energy and everyone around you senses it. You have to change the energy around you to see a change in your life. Set aside some time for spiritual reflection. Tell God what you want and watch it come trul. Best of luck to you!! And by all means be happy!! You're alive and well and that's worth celebrating honey!
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