A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for a while and I always think of all the things I want to do to him like tie him up and blindfold him so that I can do whatever I want with him. I alluded that I had something I wanted to try out the next time I saw him but now it all feels to real and I'm starting to feel a little insecure. I'm not very experienced with anything other than pretty straight forward sex.Can someone please tell me some things I can do that he'd like. Or even a step by step guide to something. Anything you could suggest, big or small, that I could try on him. I really want to be able to take charge and be really sexy for him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2011): Cowgirl position, where my girlfriend pins down my arms and pounds me like a jackhammer works for me. She always starts slowly.
Sometimes it's nice to just be completely dominated. She pins my arms down with one arm, or two arms and doesn't let me move them, then she'll either brace her other arm on the headboard for leverage or she'll cover my mouth if I try to talk, or she'll use her hand to hold my head to the side so I can't look at her. She completely ignores me too, and does her best to stop me getting any sensual sensations, I can't touch her, I can't watch her doing it, and she just pretty much uses me to get off, it's fecking great. It's good that she does that too because I have to focus solely on not ejaculating until she's climaxed and it's pretty hard to think about soccer when you're looking at and feeling up a woman who's bouncing on top of you. It's usually how our make up sex goes when she's pissed off at me for something but it's not the only time we do it, if she's stressed, frustrated or angry at anything really we do that so she can vent. It's pretty wild and I love being used like that, because it makes her feel great and the afterglow is worth it for me regardless of whether I cum or not.
A
female
reader, bluecow  +, writes (15 December 2011):
 just for the record. I had a boyfriend who even now (15 years later - were still friends, and i am friends with his now wife) still comments that the time I tied him up and gave him a tease and denial handjob for about an hour was one of the most mindblowing sexual experiences in his life.
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A
female
reader, bluecow +, writes (15 December 2011):
start slowly!
Why dont you get a blindfold and then give him a bj/go on top? By removing one of his senses (actually a huge one as most men are very visual) he has to concentrate on what it feels like.
If he enjoyed that then next time why not use some silk scarves (see i'm not suggesting you get the chains and leather cuffs out here) to tie his hands to the bed whilst you tease him to the point of orgasm ( start with a striptease, then use hand/mouth/sex - you decide).
Make sure you keep communicating, and make sure your sex life isnt all about your domination. I dont agree with Rivi, I think most men are willing and happy to hand over the control occasionally when they fully trust their partner. They find the whole thing frustrating and very horny too.
Remember whatever you do to him (with his consent) you must be willing to allow him to do to you. Are you happy and turned on by the thought of being vulnerable to him?
Tell him what you have planned too, so that he has a chance to say no to any or all of it. I wouldnt suggest you try any new moves (using toys on him or anal for example) whilst you have him vulnerable.
Some final rules... never leave him alone when he is tied up, listen to what he says and if he is unhappy or expresses concern then STOP NOW.
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A
male
reader, rivi  +, writes (15 December 2011):
I don't think there are that many men that would actually want their female partner 'to take charge'.
If you think he might be one of the minority you could just ask him what his deepest and most secret sexual fantasies and desires are - best hope of getting an honest answer is when he is half way through thrusting inside you and past the point of no return to orgasm.
[If it turns out he wants to hog tie you and carry out prolonged and painful anal penetration is that ok ? ]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2011): You could try some of these and see if it helps?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/spicing-up-your-sex-life.html
Hope it does help a little :)
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