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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: There is a boy I really really like and I have done for a while. He says he likes me too and I really want to believe that he does but I KNOW he is just trying to use me. He is only after 1 thing and he doesn't care which girl he gets it from. I know this because he's tried it with a few girls before me. I feel stupid for liking him when I can see whats going on, but I can't stop liking him. He texts me a lot telling me stuff that he 'likes' about me and makes me feel good, then after this he starts trying to persuade me to do STUFF with him (oral, hand jobs, etc) and I've actually considered it a few times because I think 'if I don't take the chance now, I won't ever get another chance'. My mates have told me he's just gonna hurt me too. Im really confused! Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your answers :)The whole 'virgin takers' thing is disturbing :( - why would someone do that to someone else?I know now that I need to forget this lad and find someone better! Thanks again all :)xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): Just know that once he gets something from you, he will probably never talk to you again. He will be off to use one of your friends and you will feel stupid, used and sad.
Please have confidence in yourself and believe what you already know, you're too good for this jerk!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): I wouldn't even waste my time with someone like him. Guys like that are jerks and that's all their ever going to be. I've read about a group of guys they call themselves 'virgin takers' they actually bet on how much girls they can get to sleep with them. Guy like that say nice things to you because they know that being a girl, it will make you like them more, but don't fall for it. Set you standards high and don't let anyone take advantage of you, especially not a complete loser like him. You know what he wants, your friends know what he wants, so why even bother when you know. Me being they type of person that I am I would tell you to wait for marriage, for the right guy, because God has a plan for everybody, but that's just me. To tell you the truth I just turned 17 in May and I've never had a boyfriend, I've never kissed a guy either. In primary school I liked a guy that lives up the street from me, he is in the same class, but as I got older I really saw the type of person that he was and my feeling change quickly, guys like him are not worth it. I read about this survey that was done, they asked all they guys at a high school if they wanted to marry a virgin and every single one of them raised their hands including the guys that were sleeping with every girl that they could, but they failed to realize that they girls saw them. again girls like him a not even worth a second of your time
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A
female
reader, s_princess  +, writes (25 May 2008):
heyz,
whats up? i hope you havent done anything stupid:)
in your shoez i wouldn even waste my precious time on him!
youre a lot better than that...
in case you still have doubts, read teencosmo,or i donno, its full of articles, which clearly state that: do.not.have.sex.with.him.just.cause.he.wants.u.to:)
and that part of the mag is actually right!
dont treat yourself as a playthingy, after it youd be sad and feel humiliated as im sure hed look for another 'gf' right away.
teen boys suck. :)
gosh youre so so so so so young!!! (im 19 btw)
blieve me, youll find better guyz! (that sounds unbelievable, bu its still true)
take care:) (and forget him)
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A
female
reader, Deema  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 Darling I don't think you are confused at all. You know whats right for you and you know what you don't want to do. I think you're feeling pressured by this person and thats not good. Let him get what he wants from someone else. You'll end up getting hurt. As for your last chance - listen darling I'm 58 and haven't had my last chance yet :)))))) - you got all the time in the world for all of this - and if he wants more than what he's already asking for - you know what I mean - then you know that is illegal. You have to take care of yourself. There are lots of nasty diseases out there and the younger you start with all this, the more chance there is of you contracting something, so think of yourself as a princess who must be cherished and not used and abused. He'll respect you all the more if you do. Lots of love xx
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A
male
reader, Dawntreader +, writes (25 May 2008):
Listen to your mates!
You've already said this boy tries it on with girls. He's just being persistent until one girl agrees...
What do you mean "you won't ever get another chance?"..my guess is he's the first boy to ever give you any real attention. There will be other boys in your life. All women enjoy compliments, the woman must learn to realise when the compliments are sincere, and when their fake.
This boy's compliments are definitely fake!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): Don't let him hurt you. You have been very sensible so far. I know that he is complimenting you and this is making you feel good, but he is not worth getting yourself hurt. You will feel terrible if you give into him and then he tells you to get lost.
There will be plenty of oppurtunities in life for you to do these things, but you're better off waiting for someone that likes you for who you are and wants to be with you rather than just wanting to use you.
It will happen, just give yourself time to find the right person.
Good Luck. X
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A
male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 Your friends and you yourself know the answer. If you even think that you're being "set up" just to give him the pleasures that he's looking for -- and especially if he's never mentioned any pleasures that he might offer you -- then walk away. You are still very young. There's a whole world of opportunities that are waiting for you to discover them. This will NOT be your last chance at an intimate relationship! But, so me, he's not the person for you to share yourself with when he seems to be offering you nothing and thinking of his own satisfactions.
Don't allow yourself to be hurt by him. In this case, the risk isn't warranted. There are other relationships for you in the future. Ones that stand of more of a mutual ground. Seek those later and avoid this one now.
Best wishes!!
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A
female
reader, growing  +, writes (25 May 2008):
I KNOW he is just trying to use me. He is only after 1 thing and he doesn't care which girl he gets it from.My mates have told me he's just gonna hurt me too.
so??
what new can we tell you??
you know it,you know the solution and you just have to implement it before its late.
thats all i could suggest to a sensible young gal.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): I really think you need to get over him. I know thats going to be hard, but honestly he's not worth your time.
My advice: Get over him, and find someone that actually cares about your feelings
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