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What can I do during this painful waiting period while she second-thinks our relationship?

Tagged as: Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 August 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 August 2007)
A male United States age 30-35, *lefootball17 writes:

I have dated this girl for the past 3 years and it's been great. We're good for each other and everyone at my school knows that we have a solid relationship. But just recently she said she wants to take a break so she can make sure that our relationship isn't just getting old for her. SO now we're temporarily separated while she thinks things over. I have strong feelings for her and I think she still has feelings for me too but I'm scared she's just gonna leave me behind. What can I do during this painful waiting period while she second-thinks our relationship? I feel so lost without her.

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A female reader, Lizz United States +, writes (25 August 2007):

Lizz agony auntWhether you're young or old, love is a complicated web of mystery. One day you think everything is fine and the next day they're gone. You need to hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. There could be many reasons why she's wanting to take a break, just be sure it's not because she's got her eye on someone else. There are people who think it's okay to break up just to sleep with someone else and then they get back together. Let her know in a non-judgemental way that this is not acceptable. Try not to come off accusatory, either. Just let her know of your thoughts and fears and then give her the space she needs. If she does decide to call it quits, it will hurt very bad. There will be days when you feel like you can't go on, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. It still hurts, but once you get over the initial shock it gets easier. All I can tell you is to keep your friends and family close. You'll need them if she leaves. Keep your hopes up for now. It helps to have a "game plan." Give her time enough to miss you. If she wants to make it work, she's gonna call or come see you. If she decides to move on with her life at least you know you tried and realize that everything happens for a reason and there must be something else in the cards for you. It's rare that teen love can survive the ever changing environment of hormones, so be prepared.

If you feel suicidal at the thought of losing her do not hesitate to call a crisis help line. There are counselors on stand-by just for people like you. Don't be afraid to reach out. This world is full of caring individuals and you can find comfort in that. Be strong. Good luck.

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A female reader, Skeez United Kingdom +, writes (25 August 2007):

Skeez agony auntYour both so very young and youve been in a relationship longer than the majority of people your age.

She probably feels as though the relationship is getting samey. Like the same routine and the same things all the time.

Just wait it out hun. Keep your mind off it. You could start preparing some new things you too could do together in the meantime. Like think of day trips or restaurants or cinema. If you still tlk to her in this break then ask her if she feels as though the relationship is the same all the time to her. if she says yes then offer to sought it out.

Shes young and she needs fun in her life she doenst need a same old relatonship keeping her down.

Im sure she loves you lots but im also sure she wants something exiting in her life too.

Goodluck x x x

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