A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:this is a question on what to do about my relationship with my mom... i went through my first break up by myself locking myself in my room and crying even on the bus on i would just cry but always make sure she never saw me cry cause i didnt want her ask why. she has a prob with me being with a guy of my race African American and wants me to be with another race. so i hid the relationship even tho it was only two months we dated. even when i found out he lied about sleeping with me i didnt turn to her out of fear of her being judgmental. im like the easy target in our family she always asks me to do things she normally wouldnt ask any other sibling especially when it comes to my dad. i have no self esteem i trying to get some but every aspect of my life is bland. im in love with a player even though i have done nothing with him she knows i like him and would sometimes poke fun at me for liking him. instead of talking to me about my feelings im completely trying to get over this myself. i know a lot of teenagers go through this but i would really like to talk to her without fear of being judged. i just dont know what to do anymore what should i do. when talking to her is not an option.
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female
reader, Sharon1111  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 It can be tough when you long to share with your Mom & ask her advice but fear her response.
Maybe you are correct to know you can't share with her about certain matters without getting a response that feels more than you can currently handle. After all, you have knows her all your life. If that is the case, maybe you just have to face reality & not share about such things. There is a lot in life we need to accept though we would prefer otherwise.
Perhaps you could settle for enjoying what you can from your Mom and seeking what else you need elsewhere. Mom's can't provide their children with all they need, even if they'd like too. Perhaps you could find a counsellor; read; mix with people who are good for you and support you; and keep following your dreams.
Remember: There is more to happiness than having a guy. But if you want a guy, pick a good one, ok? Meaning one who treats you with respect and values you for the special person you are.
In time, your Mom may well come to accept your choices when she sees you are choosing well and are happy.
A
female
reader, _Katy_Did_ +, writes (17 February 2010):
 Does she know you feel this way about talking to her? The first step to talking to your mom about anything important is talking to her about the issues you have with your mother/daughter relationship. Maybe she has no idea that she's making you feel that way. She's your mom. She loves you and I'm sure she'd hate to know that she's making you afraid to talk to her. You need support and your mom is the perfect place to get it. Start off small. Let her know how you feel about your inability to communicate with her and go from there. Good luck:)
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