A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im a black woman who is not mixed. I have an online job and white guys are bulllying me. They know what I look like and they refuse to answer questions directly from me instead they relegate a woman to do this task. Sometimes during non work related conversations, if I make a remark another colleague will mirror what I said, and the white guy will piggyback on it. My perspective is that they think I'm far too beneath them to answer directly. It's deliberate. What is the deal?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2015): I'm the poster who made a statement about recorded conversations. I am not suggesting that OP record people w/o their permission at all, because that is wrong. Let me clarify: If this is an online job, I would imagine that there would be meetings of some sort (either through skype or similar) and that it would automatically be recorded in case someone needed to re-check what was said. Either that, or the meetings are held in a forum of some sort and that would be recorded too (so employees could reference it or the HR would have something to check into if there is an accusation). If you really think you are being targeted for any reason (skin tone, gender, being "too new" etc.), bu all means, report it. Show that evidence! I'm not trying to diminish this by saying that it's not race, but the only thing in your post that suggests that is the part where you stated your race and what you look like. I guess I immediately thought "gender" because the guys have women answer your questions. Could it be race? Absolutely. But even if you can't prove it (and even if you said it was because you were new or female or whatever), if you can't prove it, it's going to give you a reputation that isn't going to be a good one. That sucks that complaints of racism/gender discrimination go unheard and aren't taken seriously because of people who make false accusations. I'm not saying you are doing that, but all it takes is one person to complain not-legitimately to ruin it for those with legitimate complaints. Please let us know what you did to resolve this and what came about.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 June 2015):
 Quite frankly,... it depends which OP you are.
If you are a new OP, then I think that collecting several examples of snubs/ harassment , submitting them to your HR department, or directly to your boss, and let them handle it, is a good , sensible advice.
But, the comment aboy being " not mixed " made me think of a repeat poster on Dc, a dark skinned lady that feels very uncomfortable in her dark skin. She admitted herself being obsessed by the idea of getting a white bf, to feel VALIDATED ; she admitted herself of having made inappropriate ( and pushy ) friendly, flirty ouvertoures to white colleagues who acted not interested- and we could not convince her that probably this had nothing to do with her skin colour, these guys simply signaled they did not want a new female friend, or a new love object, or a new fling- regardless of skin colour. Or maybe they did not want HER in these roles, always regardless of skin colour.
We could not even convince her that not all Caucasian males only want white, or very light skinned , females - although there are tons of interracial couples in USA to disprove this assumption.
So,..in case you are this poster, once again the advise is to not let reality be coloured by your perception. And to try hard not to project onto others YOUR refusal for your skin colour and racial identity.
While, alas, we can't ever exclude that a black female may be the butt of racial jokes, or racial-based mobbing,- I feel that the person more , so so speak, " qualified " to assess what is an innocuous joke ( or maybe even a crude joke but with no spiteful racist intent ) from a racial slur is a person who is secure and proud in her racial identity .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2015): People tend to delicately dance around racial issues; because it's not a comfortable subject to address. I notice that even in the answers you're receiving; some are being slightly dismissive that the behavior could be of a racist nature.
In consideration of much of the racial-tension due to events that have been happening in the news around the United States; I will not dispel the possibility you are a victim of racial-bias or discrimination. That is to be determined by the evidence you can produce; and any witnesses willing to come forward in your defense.
Unless such issues are addressed in a straightforward manner, and called for what it is; it will persist, and get even worse. It may be intended exactly the way you're taking it; and it may have every element of subtle and indirect racial-discrimination. Ambiguous to keep it difficult to pinpoint and report.
Such behavior is to be reported to your Human Resources department. First, seek legal-advice from your local Chapter of the NAACP; or a human-rights attorney. They will tell you how to properly respond before making it an over-blown incident; when it may only be some insensitive or inappropriate teasing. Which means your employer has not given sexual-harassment and ethics training to their employees. That will prove to be a very huge liability if they don't!!!
Such behavior is quite libelous; and it may scare your employer. Especially, if you're completely wrong. You'd be labeled as over-sensitive, and they'd get away with it.
I wouldn't recommend recording people or videoing people in your work-place. However; when it occurs on your time, and off premises; you are free to record or video whatever indecent or improper behavior you want. You are being mocked. That much is for sure. Whether it is a racial-issue? That is somewhat debatable. If you are mistreated by people you work with even after work, your employer is still liable. Regardless of whether it is racial, a gender-bias issue, or even both. These people have a professional connection to you. Your employer is required to set standards of acceptable behavior amongst employees.
I did take note of the fact you mentioned you're "not mixed." Clarify what you mean by that. If you've got issues about your skin-color, that's YOUR problem. Everything someone says or does who isn't of the same race, will be taken out of context and twisted. Be sure to check your sensitivities if you have issues about "dark skin." I've seen and heard it all. I don't mince words, I cut to the chase.
Carefully articulate when you explain behavior you are offended by. Using unfamiliar colloquialisms or slang; will cause confusion of what you are trying to explain. "Piggy-back" doesn't really make any sense, to be honest. Notice how everyone had to try to figure-out what you were trying to convey with that terminology?
There may be a problem understanding what you're talking about, and people do scrutinize they way you express yourself in a professional setting. Bear this in mind.
Use your best grammar; when you want to be understood.
That has nothing to do with race!
There is a proper manner of professional-communication, and it should always reflect in your interaction with co-workers, and your customers. Not to say you can't be casual; but switch it on and off when appropriate. They just may be bringing this to your attention, in a mocking and inappropriate way. However; that kind of behavior could cost your employer a lot of money in a law-suit!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2015): sounds like you are just 'getting the business" the new "guy" on the job is ALWAYS treated with distain and disgust at first. It's part of the initiation ptrocess (juvenile maybe but that's the way it is). Try to just remain quiet as possible and become invisable. don't try to compete yet it will only rachet up the hostile environment. Sooner or later you'll be accepted as "one of the guys". Then you can blossom into a valuable employee. It's just a stupid "guy thing" Don't fret just make them regrete later when the time comes. Keep good notes to be able to defend yourself in case the whole thing gets too much to handle. A very good accurate journal is the best insurance you can have in any hostile work environment. dates,times, names. Etc. Good Luck Malama Pono
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2015): Definitively talk to HR. As for racism, your description does not necessarily imply that although you are taking it that way. That white guy who is doing that maybe just an asshole who has been getting away with being a prick for a long time. They could be picking on you for various reasons but talk to HR because them jerks need to learn how to cut it out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2015): Just by reading this, I'm not sure if it's a race thing, a gender thing, or if maybe you're "too new" and that is why they are doing this. I agree with talking to HR (there's got to be a way to file a complaint) about it. It does sound like since they're relegating a woman to answer your questions (as opposed to "I'm not sure Sandy, Bonnie works in that department, she'll know better than I would"), and that's what stuck out to me the most. What I think you mean by piggy-backing is that you'll say something, it'll be dismissed, and then when one of the men quotes you, everyone gives him the credit. Are any of these people managers? Have you been able to talk to any of your female co workers to see if they have a similar experience or if they had that experience when they were new? I'm not assuming you're new, you may have been there longer than them, but that's all I can come up with. How long has this been going on? Did they just now realize what you look like and is that when this behavior started? I'm not sure if it's "bullying" but it is disrespectful and condescending. Have you tried speaking up to them? "Bart, did you hear my question about ____?" "Thank you Clark, that's exactly what I just said." While it definitely could be racist, and I hope it's not, I would absolutely talk to HR and maybe show them evidence (online conversations, anything that's recorded). I would also watch to see how the other females (and if possible, other black employees, especially women) are treated. It wouldn't hurt to say, "Hey Claudia, I've noticed that XYZ happens when I _____. Have you noticed that too? Have you had that experience?" I hope this gets resolved for you
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 June 2015):
 Do you have a HR department?
I would screenshot things you think is inappropriate or discriminating and take it up with HR.
When you say one of the males will mirror you and the others will piggyback, do you mean he does it to poke fun of you? Ridicule you? and the others join in?
Is it just you who gets that treatment or do they do this to other females?
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