A
female
age
30-35,
*harstell_x
writes:I'll attempt to keep this as short as possible, while providing as much detail as I can. He and I work in different departments, but we see each other three out of four days a week. Whether it just be in passing or scheduled in the same general area, he's always around. I find it slightly difficult to concentrate on work when I know he's lingering; thoughts of him sexually and emotionally have taken over in such a short amount of time and I have no idea what to do about it - or, more importantly, how to deal with it.Am I simply a single, twenty-two year old female lusting after a man twenty-four years my senior, or has this become a serious issue?The first time it was made known to him that I found him attractive, he attempted to make eye contact and offered a subtle smile from a distance. Of course, I immediately became nervous and didn't want him to approach me, so I returned the smile and pretended to distract myself. He didn't approach me, thankfully, but the following day I regretted not having conversed with him. Instead, I took a leap and gave him my number, which he took with an ear-to-ear grin. However, he never acted on it.Regardless, we've flirted hardcore and he's well-aware of my intense sexual attraction towards him. He assured me it flatters him and I have no reason to feel embarrassed, but I still can't help but wonder what he truly thinks of me. I catch him staring often, watching me as I work, or he'll occasionally make his presence known. I've also been told on more than one occasion from fellow coworkers that he does, indeed, pay close attention - they've witnessed it, as well.I do believe there is a mutual physical attraction at the very least, but then again, I fail miserably when it comes to reading others. **If someone suggests giving them your number for a picture and you hand it over, then back down after that person actually does text you, what's the point of even giving it out in the first place? A phone number is a private thing, correct? If you truly didn't want that person to know it, you wouldn't give it... right?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 June 2015):
 Err... Being separated doesn't MEAN single... It could be that his flirty behavior is WHY the wife kicked him out (or left him). So for now you are JUST some entertainment.
I would back off with the overt flirting as well, SPECIALLY because you work together. I get that an older guy can be VERY attractive, but I'd stay clear of co-workers (any age) and someone who IS NOT single.
Don't be the office joke.
A
female
reader, charstell_x +, writes (19 June 2015):
charstell_x is verified as being by the original poster of the question He and I have engaged in conversation on more than one occasion, so it's not as if I've shown interest without even knowing his name. According to him, he's separated with two children (one recently graduated, while his daughter is two years younger than myself). Whether he was married or not, I'm not certain as I didn't inquire for specifics. After much consideration I have come to the conclusion this attraction is purely physical. Simply put, he's an older man I just happen to find physically appealing. As far as an actual relationship, I wouldn't pursue it. I really am trying to move past this because thoughts of him are making it difficult to concentrate on other tasks at hand. It's aggravating, to say the least. But, as I'm sure you could imagine, having to see him almost every day doesn't really help much. On top of that, *he* is the one giving me looks and glances, or greeting me in passing. I have backed off as much as I possibly can without making it completely obvious what I'm attempting to do, but at the same time I don't want to give him the cold shoulder. He's a sweet guy with a great sense of humor, very down to earth and friendly.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2015): No, darling this is nothing to do with a picture and phone number thing. You made it clear you are sexually available to him. You dangled yourself like bait on a line. He might be thinkng about his wife andkids at home, or wondering why youre throwing yourself at him and if your the sort whod settle for a quickie at the bus stop or maybe he's heard about young girls who blackmail married men with their lurid affairs etc
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2015): I'm curious as to why you omitted your crush's relationship status. Was it accidental, and he's single, or is he in some kind of relationship?If he's in a relationship then I suggest you leave him alone. At the very least in pursuing this you would cause an immense amount of emotional heartbreak, be a homewrecker and trash your name at work.If he's single then he may or may not be interested in you. Beyond your intense attraction you don't mention any other reason for being with him. What, beyond flirting do you talk about? Are you after a relationship or just sex?Looking at it from his point of view you are half his age and a girl he may share no common ground with. He could be wanting a woman he can spend the rest of his days with. It's likely that isn't you.He is clearly flattered but beyond looks and glances you would need to get to know each other, in person, if this is to progress. He is of an older generation so will probably not be interested in texting you and sending you pictures left right and centre. Make a concerted effort to speak to him, and as you've already given him your number he can easily ask you out if he decides to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2015): So far you've done a lot of chasing and flirting. Unfortunately that isn't going to help you clarify if this guy wants more than just office eye candy. My advice would be to cool your jets and focus on your job. I mean really focus and stop thinking about the outcome. If he wants you he will make it clear and then you will know. What you should decide in the meantime is if this goes somewhere how might it affect your job. I speak from experience - and I ended up having to leave my job because the break up was too humiliating and it reflected on my professionalism. He could be a nice distraction. He could be a future husband. There are lots of men that could be those things.
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