A
female
age
26-29,
*iakef
writes:Dear cupid, Ok so am new to this however I will appreciate the advice you guys give me. I am currently with a guy i am in love with. We celebrated our 3yrs anniversary of knowing each other earlier in June. He and I are very happy together now but in the past had issues pertaining to his childhood friend. He would go out with her and take pic together and they let people think they were together. However this year we decided to keep the past behind us. In march we became official. We had a fight wednesday where i told him he could go have sex with his friend. After that i started thinking if he really would do it or not. Subsequently pictures of them went up on facebook on her profile on the thurseday. I got mad but didn't think it was justifiable because it was her graduation, of course being the close friends they are - he would go. What i do feel a way about is that her friend posted a comment on 1 of the pictures suggesting them being married. He and his friend liked the comment and i don't think in my opinion that is fair. She also put their pic up for her cover even though from the time me and him started getting serious she has backed off and took down the things that would hint at a relationship between them and he has also been improving in the things he do on facebook to cause people to think there is something going on. So basically from the fight on wednesday, the pics came on and he liked the comment. I have talked to him about it and he says he didn't cheat which i do believe, what i don't believe is that he could actually be giving hints and in doing so letting her think she can have him. I almost broke up with him because to me it was like going back to square 1 where everything was an issue because of her. What i am asking is what are your opinions on my situation?
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female
reader, tiakef +, writes (29 June 2014):
tiakef is verified as being by the original poster of the question ok so guys thanks for the answers but the thing is even though he has me and her, he does spend more time with me. Its not like people dont recognize us as being together, they do. Yes i have insecurities and trust issues but i really do think you are right about him needing to back up from her for a little bit. Maybe i should chill and then hope that at least that will put some distance between them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2014): You don't trust your boyfriend. It's not very smart to get angry, and tell him go have sex with the girl who makes you so insecure to begin with.
There is too much going on with the pictures, and comments on Facebook. I think he's keeping her as backup when you act-up.
You'd be better off with a guy who is single; and isn't publicizing his friendship with another girl for all to see.
If you're going to have a boyfriend, act more grownup.
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A
male
reader, Forge  +, writes (28 June 2014):
 I feel like there are some bumps in the road ahead, and that if you two are going to be together, he needs to let go of his friend a bit.
I started dating a girl and because of her status at school, I lost friends. But when we broke up, those people wanted to be friends again. If he is always with this other girl, maybe you should give him an ultimatum.
You two are together, hand in hand, and if he just NEEDS to spend so much time with his friend, then maybe it won't work between you two. Or maybe he needs to chill out with his friend a bit.
You are his girlfriend, not his best friend. You should be slightly more important. Just ask him this: "If we were both trapped under a car, and you could only save one of us, who would it be?" ("Us" referring to you or his friend) And tell him to really think about it.
Im not saying it's one or the other, he just needs to back up a bit from his friends, and spend more time with you. You are together in a different way than his friend and himself. Tell him that you are together, that he can't be doing these things. It's immoral as a guy to do that. And I'm a guy.
Maybe you two aren't compatible, or maybe he needs to be a better boyfriend. Not saying you should break up with him, just saying that he is not doing his job, which is being with you.
I could understand his position if they were actually related, but they're not. He's just not holding his ground in life.
Hope the view of a high schooler helps you a bit.
-Forge-
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