A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me a week ago. But before I start telling you why and all you must know our past. We met in highschool(our bestfriends were going out). I'm 1 year older then him. So we started hanging out and we became really good friends. In 1 year we went from friends to best friends to bf/gf. We had/have so much in common! It was unbelievable, I never thought I would find someone that was exactly like me. When we were friends I knew he liked me b/c he told my best friend and she told me, but I didn't act on it b/c he had a gf. I didn't even want to talk to him after I found out he liked me b/c I thought he was just a flirt. So I confronted him about it(I'm a straight up person. Don't keep things inside and don't go behind talking). That night he called me and told me everything about her. That yes they have been together for 3 years but have seen each other only 4 times for a short amount of time(lived 45 min away) and the fact that she went for vacation to her country and came back engaged but still wanted to be with him.(by this time we have become really close friends and i got worried for him. he never went out. didn't communicate with his family or anything b/c of this girl). So i put our friendship to test I was like if you want to be friends with me or gain my full respect you have to start living your life. He started living and ended conversations with the girl. (he used to drink alot and I had him stop that too. hasn't touched any alcohol beverage ever since)After a year I was a senior and he was a junior. We had become really close. That's when i realized that i have a crush on him. So that day after school I called him and asked him out.(lol he is so cute he couldn't stop smiling. apparently he had bigger crush then i had on him WAY BIGGER!) We lost our virginity to each other after 4 months of being bf/gf. It has been 2 years since we've been together. He's the love of my life and I am the love of his life. The only problem in our relationship was other guys! For some reason I really get guys attention and we become instant friends but i don't trust them b/c that turns to them liking me. He knew this so he told me to not talk to guys he doesn't know. I respected that and told him ok anything for you. But there is this friend of mine that he doesn't know but i know and I see him as a brother but my bf didn't want me talking to him. We had an arguement and he broke up with me(thats not the only reason. but that is the main one. there is alot more)It has been exactly one week. But it's weird b/c the day he broke up with me we talked at night(we are trying the friends thing again). Then the next day we had class together(college). Then yesterday we had dinner together and then afterwards we talked for hours! I am so close to him so we can talk about anything. I've been with him like that for so long that I can't help it. We talk about everything even sex! I am sooooo confused! I mean he acts like we are still going out but then I'm like in my head that no it's just in my head. I know he cares about me and is still madly in love with me and so am I, but I don't know. He's my everything and I'm his everything. And oh we are going shopping together this weekend(i don't go shopping w/o him). I am so confused. Someone please tell me what should i do? I don't know if we are friends or what? I don't want to ask him b/c i think that might push him away. And i rather have him as a friend then nothing. HELP!
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male
reader, Perspicacious  +, writes (6 September 2009):
The fact you have "broken up" clearly hasn't stopped you talking or ended things - in many ways it just highlights that you have a serious problem to solve in your relationship.
If, as it sounds, you both still love each other and you broke up over a pretty dumb reason (does he really expect you to go through life without talking to other guys just because he doesn't know them?), then perhaps you will be able to work things out.
Give it a bit of time, and talk to each other about what happened and how you both feel. A week isn't long, and I'm sure that as the dust settles things will seem much clearer.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): Well you both seem to care for one another. Your best bet is to sort things out with him and get him to meet this guy so he feels comfortable. Otherwise make a choice between him and this guy. He needs to understand you need your friends and all but at the same time he needs to sort out his insecurities with you meeting with guys.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): Just to be safe, play it as just friends for know and judge over time if it can become something bigger. At the beginning of your relationship you became friends, best friends and the gf/bf. If its meant to be, let that process repeat in its natural manner, but instead of worrying about what you are, just enjoy his presence and go shoppin... its the safest and best way to preserve some sort of relationship with a guy who you need and needs you back.
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