A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I found out yesterday that the 22 year old guy I've been seeing for around 3 months has never had a girlfriend or a casual relationship before. This has completely flipped the way I'd been thinking about him because I thought he didn't seem that interested in me, but now I think maybe he just isn't sure what to do next.I have quite a few questions here, but if you've got a thought about even 1 of them, I'd love to hear it!- Why might a guy have never had a girlfriend? He has a lot of female friends and a couple that seem to have feelings for him.- I found out he'd never had a girlfriend from a friend of his, who accidentally let it slip assuming I already knew. So I'm not sure if I should tell him I know or would that maybe make him uncomfortable? Should I wait till he tells me himself?- Is he likely to be put off by me having a lot more experience than him? All he knows is that I got out of a long term relationship not long before meeting him. In fact I've had 7 boyfriends (including a 3 and a 2 year relationship), slept with 4 of them and kissed a few other guys too.- Does a "casual relationship" basically mean sex? So it's a definite possibility he hasn't had sex before since he hasn't had a casual relationship? I don't mind if he hasn't, as long as he doesn't mind that I have, but I'm kind of left wondering - why me?!He's away traveling at the moment, but when he gets back I'm not sure what to do - is there anything I can do to make him feel less nervous around me?
View related questions:
never had a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): I'm in a similar place as you, but I married a guy with no prior relationships. There are definite pros and cons to it. First off, don't be put off by this guys abstinence. There are plenty of good reasons for a great guys to never have had a girlfriend: not wanting to break hearts, wanting to keep himself for love (yes, there are guys like this!), being preoccupied with academics, etc. Also, it may mean that he has no emotional baggage to carry into your new relationship, which can be a welcomed change from guys who think they "know women".On the other hand, there is a good likelihood that, like you suspect, he's not going to know what to do all the time. He may need a little bit of...guidance, which means that you may need to hop into the proverbial drivers seat! This aspect can be frustrating at times (my husband is still not sure about kissing) but it can also be fun and rewarding (especially when he learns to do something JUST the way you like).As far as how he'll feel about your past, that has to do with the guy. Everyone is different. However, my advice would be to not try to talk to him about this (unless he brings it up). Just use it as a point of reference, so that you can understand him as a person better.
|
