A
female
age
41-50,
*uzyQ
writes:HI i am in a bit of a dilema. My husband and i have been married for 2 yrs and 3mths, but we've known each other for 4yrs. I am not happy any more. My husband and I want different things in life! I am 23 and he is 32 he wants kids, and i dont (not quite ready) he wants to save up every penny of mine to buy a house and to be frank i am confused i dont know if i want to or not. We are so differnt, he likes quiet nights in restaurants and i like noisy places like bars and clubs. I compromise but he never does with me. I enjoy socialising, metting new people and discovering new things. I like being spontaneuous its who i am and i've changed so much since i met him. Is it wrong for me to want to go out? maybe it is! but i just want to be me and do the things that people my age do. I do every thing he wants me to, being married has its roles and responsibilities, i no that! I clean, i wash, i iron but i dont cook not a very gud one! i do try though... but he never sees or appreciates any of it. Some times i feel like a maid or something and i hate it. Do u think im falling out of love with my husband? What if i am, what if i dont love him anymore. How do i deal with that? How do u no when you've fallen out of love with someone? what are the signs? I am so confused! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): ok. so this is the deal. Your too young for him. your still in that stage of life where you want to socialize and not dinner at a friends house..
I got married at 21 and after 6 years of marriage I am finally figuring out who I am. And the sad part is, I don't think I want to be with him anymore.
I'd say do something sooner or later.
I get tired of everyone saying save your marriage. Especially at your age. Do what feels right. and unless your religious ignore that too. yes he will hurt and trust me so will you but its better this way than in ten years.
Just remember to make sure your sure. sometimes when we decide these things we regret. And he being his age may not take you back. He is obviously more mature than you (not being a bitch here just saying)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): seems tht the problem is the age difference..... he is 9 years older than you nd has probs did everything that you are wanting to do now... your still young.. you got married at a rather young age... like i said hes 9 years older than you hes ready to settle down and raise a family hes had his share of fun and games in his life but ur just gettin started... so best thing to do is to divorce nd separate cuz hes jus gonna make you life boring
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): I think that there is a definite difference there, not only with age but with interests. He is too grown and mature for you, but not to say thats a bad thing, you still have some discovering to do and really figure out what it is you truly want out of life. Maybe after talking to him and if things still seem too routine you might want to temporaly want to separate until you either decide you can not live with him or that you will be just fine!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007): Please meet a counsellor since your already married. Do everything you can to save your marriage within religious and social norms but don't insist if it's not working.
Jim
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (28 May 2007):
Hey! confused; here I am a man about to tell a woman about Love,well no man can do that.But a lots of wonderful women can, and will. So let me introduce them to you. the first one is Shere Hite who wrote, "THE HITE RREPORT,"1976.By MACMILLAN PUBLISHING CO INC./New York.ISBN 0-02-551851-8. A must book by women for women But also a great book for us men also So can better understand a womam's physical, emotional and sexual needs.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (28 May 2007):
 Your husband is far more mature than you are and is happy to settle down to family life. You, on the other hand are more immature than he is and still want the single life. How long did you know one another before you were married?
When you're in love with someone you want to do things for them and want to be with them most of the time. You take their feelings into account in all that you do and nothing is too much for you to handle. It looks to me that you married too quickly before really thinking this through and getting to know your differences. It may well be that you have never loved him and were just swept away by the fact that he was older than you and treated you well and made you feel special.
You have some serious thinking to do to decide whether or not you think you can live with him for the rest of your life or not. You need to sit down and talk with him, let him know how you're feeling and exactly what you want from your marriage. If you both can't come to a compromise then I suggest you go your seperate ways before children are involved.
Eve
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (28 May 2007):
 You two are complete opposites. It's definitely an age difference issue. It's not always the case, but he's already matured in a way that you haven't yet. You're young, which is why you want to do all of the things that he doesn't. You two should divorce, and go your separate ways.
DV1
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