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anonymous
writes: Hello, what do I look for when I suspect that my fiancee is cheating?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): being dodgy on his phone secretly
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female
reader, ASK SAMI +, writes (20 September 2005):
 The most problems that couples have in their relationships is the suspicion that one or the other is cheating, destroying the relationship at present. But how can you tell if your suspicions are true?
Well first, there is the goldie oldie. Staying out late with the old excuse of extra work shifts or a meeting at work. Then there is the text messages on the phone or secretive phone calls, noone can possibly believe that it is just a friendly collegue?
If you confront your partner of your suspicions, and there is just the hint of guilt or of him/her trying to change the subject, you know that it is true, and you need to do something about it.
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reader, star3482 +, writes (11 May 2005):
if they are not affectionate / distant towards you, sex becomes extremely infrequent or non existant, lack of cuddles and nice words, hiding / switching their phone on silent or turning it off when your around, they start making plans with their 'friends' more often. 'wrong numbers' calls to their phones, not answering the phone when they're out or switching it off claiming the battery has died - there's loads - but if you're already suspecting, why dont you save your sanity and just set your partner up?? then see what happens?
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reader, Devil's Advocate +, writes (11 May 2005):
 A suspicious person might look for signs such as:lipstick on clothingperfume/aftershave smellsphone numbers scrawled on pieces of paperunexplained changes in routinenights of disappearanceinconsistant storiesfurtive behaviourfootprints on the inside of the car windowsempty condom wrappersused condoms floating in the toiletnew tattoos with other persons nameswearing a badge that says "I'm having an affair"These are of course really obvious. Don't waste time and become obsessed with searching for give-aways. If you don't trust your fiance, find reasons to trust them, figure out why you don't trust them or confront them.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (11 May 2005):
 Here are some signs that may be indicative of unfaithfulness but remember, they could apply to other things such as stresses in life and other events that may make him seem defensive.1. Washing more frequently, a distinctive smell of aftershave (perhaps more so than before if he always wears it) Dressing smartly, again more so than normal2. The inability to look you in the eye when he talks to you3. More or less displays of affection. He may either seem distant because he would prefer to be with the other person and is thinking of them or overly affectionate so that you don't guess that he is being unfaithful4. Bringing you flowers, chocolates when he didn't used to before (again this is a cover up behaviour)5. Wanting more or less sex. It seems more normal for him to want less sex but occasionally, having an affair can kick start the libido and he could also be trying desperately to work out in his mind who he would prefer to be with6. Coming home late, making up excuses as to where he has been, avoiding eye contact, acting defensive, flying off the handle when you ask him his whereabouts7. Needing moments alone to think 8. Being secretive about his phone, computer, etcThere are many clues and people are all different. The best thing to do is to say to him that you feel insecure and that you are worried that he may have an interest elsewhere. Perhaps you have already done this?You will need evidence that he is cheating before you can accuse him of such. It is better to talk and find out exactly where you stand.Good luck.
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reader, kimberenee82 +, writes (11 May 2005):
There are a lot of signs that people give off when they are up to no good. Normally they will act a little distant, when you talk to them on the phone they will act like they ae in a hurry they may still say love ya but now with emotion, more like it is a habit. If they stay out late, and can't "remember" who all was at the party, or act sad or defensive if you ask what they did at the party then those are signs that they could be cheating. most of all, follow your heart, if something doesn't feel right... then look for clues without accusing, but keep you eyes wide and your ears open for little slip ups of their stories. I hope you find what will make you happy in the long run, but don't be afraid the be alone. Good luck
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