A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I really dont think anyone will be able to help but lets see. I joined a online dating site about two months ago. I have met ALOT of guys on there, all which seem nice, etc.. 3 guys want to meet me (we have only been talking maybe 2 weeks), and Im just not ready to meet them yet. One guy called me out saying I was playing games because I wouldnt meet him like after three times of talking. Is that typical? Do people usually meet that fast? Im afraid to meet people I dont feel comfortable with. Also, like are there 'rules' of internet dating? Im really new at this and have NO clue what the typical online dater is like! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2006): Do everything at your own pace, if they start putting demands on you they aren't worth your time. There are some lovely people out there, I've chatted with a few and recently started seeing someone from a site, but only meet those you really want to otherwise it could be a very uncomfortable evening!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2006): Hiya, I once met a guy from a chat site. We both disgussed it for ages and ages! We waited till we were both ready to meet and by that time, it was around 1 year, and also, the time we took made it very exciting! But, remember also, SAFETY! meet in crouded places for the first few times or maybe more till you feel safe with him and maybe ask a friend to go with you if you want. If he is the right guy to meet, he will wait as long as he has to to meet you like the guy I met! Altogether, the guy I met, I have known him for around 3 years now, and we were best friends to start off, and then, guess what? It turned into LURVE! you never know, your long life partner could be waiting for u! but take all the time in the world! Good Luck! x
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A
female
reader, Angel Underneath +, writes (21 January 2006):
Meet when you are ready. Not before. If anyone tries to rush you then they're trying to push you before you're ready which doesn't bode well
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (21 January 2006):
 First thing is the guy who called you out was wrong to do so. 2 weeks is no time at all. It is in no way typical and cast's his motives in a less than positive light.
Besides one golden rule is to proceed at a pace you are comfortable with. Don't let them dictate the pace to you. One of the huge pluses is that you can get to know the person first in-depth in that time. Generally speaking how it has gone with me is that you gradually progress from talking on the net to talking on the phone to then thinking about meeting.
I would say keep to your word. If you say you are going to meet than make sure you do exctly that unless there really is a dire emergency. Normally we would look for non-verbal signals, ie body language, when decideing on trust but with net dating that option isn't really there. Hence the need to follow through words with actions becomes slightly more important in buidling trust than in real life. Hope that helps.
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