A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I waited until I was 18 before I started having sex with my long term boyfriend of two years. I made that decision, because I did not want to leave any burden upon my parents if I was to become pregnant. My now fiance and I plan on marrying in about a year, and began having sex five months ago. He always wears a condom and I have been on birth control since I was 13 because of period cramps. So what's the chance of becoming pregnant? Well apparently it was high for me because I just found out at the doctor's a few days ago that I was, because I was experiencing bad nausea and it didn't go away. I am 7 weeks pregnant, how?..I don't know. My mother always told me that since I was so skinny I was most likely infertile, which made me feel horrible because I would eat like a pig and never gain an ounce and I did want children someday! Any way, the condoms only broke twice and I didn't think anything of it since I was on birth control and what are the chances that I would have ovulated on those two days which where a month or so apart! I shouldn't of ovulated period, but I guess when it says only 99.9% affective it truly means it! So now I'm left wondering what to do. My family knows (and are quite shocked) and my fiance and his family knows (he is excited and already bought a few baby items). The thing is, I don't know if I want this baby. Of course no way on God's green earth would I abort this living thing inside me, but I wonder if the child would be better off if I gave it up for adoption. It's not money that I'm worried about, it's the fact that I don't think I'll make a good mom at this time. I haven't even had a dog or cat to care for, how do I transition to caring for a baby? Any advice or opinions would be much apreciated! I just want to know the pros and cons of giving it up for adoption, and the pros and cons of keeping this child, it would truly help me make a decision!
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female
reader, salvadda  +, writes (27 January 2009):
 From what I read you have been very responsible and sometimes acciendents happen, so don't feel bad. The good thing is that your fiance is excited and happy, which means it he wants the baby, and please take his feelings into consideration. He too should have a say. I am pro-choice and depending on sistuations such a rape, health probs. etc for example I believe it's a very hard choice for anyone to decide. Most woman should go to concelling before they decide. If you're worried about being a good mother there are classes you can take. At some hospitals they are free along with child birthing classes. Every woman is worried about being a good mom with the 1st child so your worry is valid. The good thing about this is that you have your fiance's support. There are also support groups you can ask/look into. The most inportant thing of all is LOVE and if you have this in your heart for your child you will over can anything, and it will make you stronger. This is the PRO part.
The one thing a woman never thinks of and is not perpare is the the thought through out your life about your child. You might feel guilty. When do you have another child and you will, this might enhance the guit more . Also at times if the child grows to know it has been give up the child will search for the mother. This is something you want to think about. The child will want explainations/answers want to know what you look like ect. For some it may work out be for others it is a hard thing and can change not only your life be the life of all family memebers involved. Some woman never get over it. This is CON part.
I would never tell you or anyone what to do in this situation, but my advice is to think about what I wrote and do some soul searching. Support is always inportant. I do wish you the best of luck....*s*
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