A
female
age
26-29,
*omana
writes:i believe that we could tell if our partner is cheating on us by certain signs but the thing is i don't know these signs!!! could you help me outthanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (15 May 2007):
 Partners who are cheating are often guilty of their actions. They will apologise over small mistakes and go out of their way to make you happy or feel pampered. He will also start showing less interest in you and will want to spend more time alone, so suggest going with him when he goes out, even if it's just a short trip, tell him you need the fresh air (and watch his face!).
Is he still being intimate with you or has this got less? Is he always tired or making excuses that he's tired? If this part of your life has lessened then this alone is a good indication he may be cheating.
When your husband is away frequently then call him on his phone to see if it's busy or turned off. If it does ring out, then hang up before he answers, you know his phone's on or not busy and that was the main reason for you calling. (You can withold your number easily at these times so make sure and do that first so he doesn't get suspicious that it's you.) But make sure the number's NOT witheld when you genuinely do need to call him as it will register on his phone as being witheld or not! (You've got to be one step ahead of him all the time).
Also check closets and shirt pockets to look for any scribbled-down phone numbers or meeting places. Check his trousers too. If you find an unknown number then call it and see who picks up. If it's not a familiar voice then ask questions to learn where they live and who they are. If you can, check his cell phone if he leaves it lying around then do so and check the phonebook (If it's not locked - which is another sign of course). Jot down all suspicious numbers and call them and notice the tone of the other person when she picks up the phone. Think carefully what you're going to say but DON'T tell her who you are at this point!
When he comes in go up and give him a kiss immediately and smell him to see if there is a "woman's smell" lingering somewhere, perfume is the giveaway here. Even check his smalls for 'signs'!!! Watch carefully when he arrives home, does he always seem to head to the shower immediately?
Another way to catch him is to follow him in a car. See where he goes, what he buys and who he meets. (Take a friend along with you for moral support and use their car). If you can, try to show up suddenly somewhere and be surprised to see your husband there. (Friend stays in the car of course). Notice his reaction. If he is happy to see you then there's nothing to worry about. If, however, he looks flustered or worried and wide-eyed, then he is surely hiding something. Ask him questions to clarify things a bit.
If nothing seems to work, go back and carry on with your investigation till you come up with something solid. Confront him ONLY when you have enough evidence against him and then decide what should be done next. If you keep on his case and he IS guilty, he WILL slip up, it's only a matter of time.
If, after a time and you still can't prove it then the last thing to try would be to hire a private investigator. They will certainly be able to come up with evidence but it can be costly and only used as a last resort.
Isn't all this is a bit devious....? Yes... but you'd never do it if you didn't have good cause to. Cheating on a partner breaks every rule in the book between you. It is a sign that the relationship is not going well and is in trouble and THAT is what the roaming partner should be addressing and working on, NOT running into the arms of another as this solves nothing, only escalates and makes the problem much worse!
Eve
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007): My question to you is: why are you asking this? Do you GENUINELY think your fella is cheating on you?The way you have worded your question gives an impression that you could well be insecure and that you're putting too much effort into finding these signs. If that's the case and your partner is faithful then you could ultimately end up losing him if you give the impression that yuo don't trust him.HOWEVER! If you genuinely believe and have reason to think that your partner is cheating on you, then the signs will be there depending on how well you know your fella.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (15 May 2007):
 Ooh there are so many different signs that someone can show as every one of us is an individual.
Does your partner give you lots of attention?
Does your partner go out a lot on their own?
Does your partner look shifty when asked about what they have been up to without you?
Are there any unexplained times away from you?
Are there any hidden texts on mobile phones or phone calls or even emails?
Does your partner make more of an effort now when going out alone?
Do you have an active sex life?
Does your partner buy you gifts after being away at all?
Some of the above may or may not apply.
At the end of the day I think if you feel your partner is cheating you pick up on the vibes and change in behaviour yourself.
What are your reasons for asking right now?
BFN
Country Woman
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