A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey need some help here guys, my question is what do you think my chances are of getting my husband back and us being a family again?We split up 8 weeks ago after he cheated on me with my good friend, he is in a relationship with her and living with her. We have a 11 month old little boy as well. My husband will only see him a couple of hours a week. Now I know he as a mind of his own but I honestly believe she influences him seeing him because I don't hink she wants him coming to my house and seeing me, I know she is a jealous person anyway. He came and took Duncan out on Thursday for his tea and asked if he could have him again at beginning of next week and I said that was fine, let me know asap when as he had to sort out a couple of appointments. He told me the day after the appointments were Weds but could no longer have our son and wouldn't be seeing him again til next Fri.....He was up for having him when he was here, I believe he as gone back to her and she as said something which as influenced him to do this and it is disgusting that she is doing this. He as also lost all his family because of his actions and being with her, she is manipulative and was the same with her ex...who by the way was my husbands best friend and it was because of her he had fallen out with his mum too so I know what she is like and I know my husband and he won't like it and won't put up with it for long, I don't know how she does it but she is a horrible person. He texts everyday asking how i am and how our son is but I know he is sneaky about it around her too. I am getting on with my life as I have to and when he comes to pick our son up I am nice to him. I am not pinning all my hopes on getting him back as I don't want to be let down but I do love him and I know if he did want to come back at all we would have alot to work out. I am moving out of the area in a few months and I am moving to make a fresh start for me and my son but would love to get back with him and sort things out and for him to come with us so we can make a fresh start as a family somewhere new, weather we get back together or not I am going. He is aware I am going and I have made it clear I will bring our son back twice a month to see him but he as to make the effort too as I still want him to have a relationship with our son, he asn't put up a fight about us going and me taking our son because if I thought for a min that it would effect there relationship then I wouldn't go but he can't be bothered to see him much now anyway, I will only be an hours drive away. I love him so much and want him back.
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best friend, cheated on me, get back together, her ex, jealous, split up, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (15 May 2011):
 I think everything you have done up to now has been exactly the right thing to do. You have kept the lines of communication open, allowed him to see his son and are also making plans to get on with your life. As for his 'new' relationship, it seems that all is not rosie in the garden. If his new partner is controlling and jealous, thats only going to be tolerated by him for a short time...I say 'give it enough rope and it will hang itself'
I think the move away will be good, your husband will have to travel to see the baby, you should not make all the effort to make sure he gets access...that alone is going to wind up the new girlfriend and cause arguments and again I say let them get on with it.
I know you love him and want him back, but just look at what he's done...it's pretty despicable to dump you and the baby, but to do it with one of your friends, well thats just cruel...so does he deserve to be given another chance?
I would also stay close to his family and make sure they see the baby. Don't be tempted to get in and dig dirt about him, because it will look like you are s*it stirring. You need to remain whiter than white and rise above it. Who knows, eventually he may get tired of being with the nasty woman and want his family back...but let him come to you (again another good thing about moving away...if he does come back, he will be away from the other woman)..thats said, you need to decide if he is worthy of you, if he will remain faithful and if he deserves a second chance. You might have even met someone else by then and not want him back.
I know you feel weak right now, but you secretly hold all the aces. Play your cards well as you have been doing...fairly and dignified and eventually he may see what he has given up. If he doesnt come back, you will have handled things beautifully, not fallen apart and become a mess and the transition of moving on will be a lot less painful.
Good luck to you xxx
A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (15 May 2011):
 Hi,I am sorry that you are going through a difficult time right now. Reading your story, I am very impress how strong you're, never once said a bad word about your husband. You are a great mom too. I am so happy that you're not using your child to manipulate your ex-husband. I am so happy that you're allowing your ex-husband to come see your son, be in his life. Most importantly you are an amazing woman, not only strong, but kind. I know its a difficult time for you, but I didn't sense any anger or pain. I admire you very much for being so compose. I admire you for being a wonderful mother. As for the other woman? Just reading your story I get angry... What in the world does your ex-husband see in this woman, after being married to someone as wonderful as you? Really? This woman is complete opposite of you? If physical, we both know it doesn't last...I truthfully hope your ex-husband come back to his senses and realize what a huge mistake he made. This person is evil, self-fish, insecure and just use people. I see it! Everybody that knows you all see what kind of woman she's? How come your ex-husband don't see it? I don't understand? I hope that you have all the happiness, success in your new home. I believe this is a new, fresh start for you and your son! I really hope your ex-husband come back to you... You and your son don't deserve this! You and your son deserve to be a happy family!!!!!!God bless! Good luck!
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