A
female
age
30-35,
*ovinggirl
writes:Hi Guys.My long-distance boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me on Friday night. It was an amicable break-up, and one I kind of agreed with.I took it well, agreed we needed to go our separate ways and didn't make a fuss as I would do in the past when we argued. He was shocked I'd taken it so well and kept asking if I'd got another guy 'lined up' already, because in the past when we argued, I'd get really emotional and continuously text him to make up.We split up whilst speaking on MSN, as obviously being 100 miles apart and both not great financially, it was the only viable option.The following day, he got back in touch via text, asking what I was upto, where I was, what I was doing that night, asking me to go on MSN etc. And he even rang me at just after midnight as I'd not replied to his text in like, 20mins. I was half-asleep, didn't realise it was him, so answered the call where he was talking normally, asking what I was doing, telling me what he was watching, talking about football kinda thing.Since then, he's been pretty much texting me everyday asking the same questions of what I'm doing, what my plans are etc.Tonight I'm going to a football/soccer game, and I said I was looking forward to it - he wanted to know exactly why I was looking forward to it, who I was going with etc. I'm looking forward to it just randomly, no particular reason so I just replied with 'dunno' and he wanted to know the exact reason seemingly.What I don't get is, if we've split up, and he brought the entire split up, then why is he texting me asking what I'm doing? Why is he bothered what I'm doing as he doesn't want me as his girl?I hid my relationship status on Facebook on Monday, as I wasn't mentally ready to be 'single' at that stage, but his 'in a relationship with shy_girl' still shows. He was saying on Friday that he would become 'single' but he still hasn't?!What is this man playing at?!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): He's playing games with you because you didn't fight for him, like you said he expected you to do. In doing so, you have now become the unobtainable woman...the woman he doesn't have/can't get. And that just doubled your attractiveness in his eyes.
Kindly remind him that he initiated this, and that while you have nobody waiting in the wings, that you enjoyed what the two of you had and have accepted that it's time to move forward. Go to no contact if necessary.
A
male
reader, Flyguymyeye +, writes (10 February 2010):
I meant dating someone local would be easier financially.
If you can't afford to see each other it could never work. Just because you're no longer together does not mean his feelings aren't there, it takes time for these to go.
Stay in touch with him by all means, but what is the point of an unhappy relationship where you can't even see each other?
He is depressed and may need help, ask him to seek help.
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A
female
reader, lovinggirl +, writes (10 February 2010):
lovinggirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe financial aspect I was referring to was the fact we had to 'break up' over the Internet, as it wasn't feasible for he or I to travel 100 miles to do it, or even meet halfway. Can't afford it.He's in a complete mess at the minute, seems really depressed with his worklife, and things at home too.Stepped down from his authority at work, has told me he's bored of his life, bored of what he does etc. He used to go to the pub with friends, go out and go to football games. But he's bored of it now and wants a change as he's "33 not 20". But he doesn't seem to know what he wants. He's off to the Lake District on Saturday for some time away on his own.I've been offering my support and stressing that it's as friends only. Just can't help but feel sorry for him and upset that he's feeling as low as he is. Although we're no longer together, I still have feelings for him and it still upsets me when I know he's sad and there's nothing I can do about it :(PS. And he asked what I was doing at the weekend and made a bet with me that I'd go on a night out...why's he care! Grrrr...lol x
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A
male
reader, Flyguymyeye +, writes (9 February 2010):
He is possibly testing you to see if you still care, or he cannot let go.
Long distance relationships are incredibly hard and not worth the effort. For ease I would cut all contact and date locally. Finances don't matter, a night in with a curry and DVD is as good as any.
Or...
Give it another go and see what happens!
Good luck!!
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