A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice really quick, because i am seeing this guy tomorrow and i think i made a drunken mistake last week! I want to sort out what to do, I don't know whether i should stop things before they go further!Basically he has liked me for a while and i ended up telling him last week that i like him too, but since i had been drinking he said he didn't want to do anything about it until i was sober and knew for sure. It was strange, because that night i felt a little jealous when i saw him with another girl (and i never get jealous) but i wanted him to be with me. And i'm happy when i'm around him and when i left to go home, i missed being with him.. But the thing is, when i'm around him i feel that i like him in that way. But when i'm not, i feel like i'm making a big mistake getting involved! He isn't that good looking, so that might be why i'm not crazy for him because i am quite fickle. But then he is funny, honest, really nice and we get along so well! So i figured i should ignore his looks, because he will treat me so well and over time he will look better to me right?It's just i don't know whether i am making a big mistake and if it's bad that i'm not fully sure and doubting whether i do genuinely like him!! It just sounds bad that i only am aware of me liking him when i'm with him. My mum said i'm really trying to convince myself i don't like him. But i feel like i'm trying to convince myself that i do!So what do you guys make of this? I don't understand it at all!! And should i give us a chance or just leave it?
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female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (6 July 2011):
i wouldnt start dating him if you are not sure whether you like him or not its pretty obvious you don,t it sounds like you are trying to force yourself to like him when you meet someone you like you know straight away you will only end up hurting him if you start dating
A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (6 July 2011):
It sounds to me like you should give him a chance. He's honest, you find him funny and the two of you get on well... to me that's a budding relationship.
I really like that he wanted to make sure you were sober and of sound mind before he pursued things further. Guys with that kind of moral fabric don't grow on trees!
Really, I don't see what you've got to lose here. I'd go out with him and see whether there is some chemistry, or whether you two are just meant to be friends. You won't know for sure until you give him a chance!
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 July 2011):
 I'd say let it go- I think too you are tryng to convince yourself that you like him.
You were DRUNK- maybe that's why you lowered your usual standards, have you ever heard of beer goggles ? And I get the feeling that what you like most about him... is that HE likes you .
Do not underestimate mutual physical attraction. While surely every relationship based ONLY on that is shallow and doomed to failure- on the other hand,also a relationship devoid of MUTUAL attraction won't last either, there will always be the nagging feeling of something sorely missing.
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A
male
reader, JayJay101 +, writes (6 July 2011):
I agree with "fatherly advice" it seems you guys are great for each other, and would have a great relationship all the things you mention are the key ingredients to make a great relationship. I believe you guys would make a great couple, but the one thing that is holding you back are his looks and i don't think that should be the case. i understand attraction is a very big component but you shouldn't be that shallow, but when you grown up from that phase you will regret letting a special person pass by just because of that reason.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (6 July 2011):
 That's a tough one. Ann Amy Mouse,
Part of me wants to say "in Vino Verities" go for it. (BTW Wine makes you stupid and less inhibited) The other part wants to say You're too shallow, don't go hurting him.
The reasons you like him are the right reasons to make a good relationship. The reasons you resist him are not the things that make long term relationships work.
So Final vote: If you think you can be honest with him, If you promise not to use him, Then give it a chance. If you think that it will be easy some day to say "I can't be with you you aren't good looking", then just say you were drunk and stay away from him.
FA
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