A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing/dating this woman (in her early 20's)for a while. She says she doesn't want a relationship. I try and try again to win her over by being there for her and supporting her when she needs me. I really like her a lot. We go out on dates and spend some time together. We always kiss and hold each other but when it comes to being with friends she says to act like a friend. My question is, Am I being used? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): If she says she doesn't want a relationship, don't date her. When she wants to go to the movies and mess with your head here and there, tell her no. When she gets upset, tell her you don't want a relationship. She'll get the hint. If you're the one who keeps asking her to go out and spend time together, quit doing it. Don't ever kiss her or anything intimate like that. If she wants to be just friends, go ahead. She can't not have a relationship and kiss and hold you, unless she wants a friends with benefits relationship.. but she said she doesn't want any relationship, so don't give her anything.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 July 2010):
 Nope I don't think you are being used. You are just not listening to her.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (22 July 2010):
 Are you sleeping with her.? It sounds like shes stringng you along hoping to find somethng better but just n case she doesnt she has you as her plan B.. My suggestion move on... you might be able to work out a friends with benefits deal.. but if ths girl ever gets with you its because shes settling and tired of waitng for her prince charming
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (22 July 2010):
 No I don't think you are being used because she has said she doesn't want a relationship.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 July 2010):
I'm afraid she's made it clear where she stands. She does not want a relationship. You are a friend, and that's all you will be to her. If you're looking for more, you need to move on now before you get even more hurt.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): You sound like a good guy and if she knows that you are trying to win her love,says to act like a friend when your with her friends, AND says shes not looking for a relationship and your still supporting her,she probaly is taking advantage of you. My advice, when your with her friends act like her boyfriend and see how she reacts, if she tells you to stop then youll know.
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A
female
reader, SallyR87  +, writes (22 July 2010):
 Sorry. It sounds like she's using you to boost her own feelings of security and self-worth. My guess is that she has recently been hurt by someone she was in love with and is now using you as a comfort blanket. Be polite but don't invest too much emotion in this one.
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