A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Whilst in the club with my work colleagues and my girlfriend for a colleagues birthday, my gf and a female colleague go off to dance. I go looking for them about 20mins ish later because my gf is shy so didn't want her to think I've left her with a colleague of mine she doesn't really know. I walk to find her and find her, my female colleague and two male strangers at the bar laughing joking and taking shots of the male strangers.This straight away hurt and destroyed me because my gf and I have been having a rough time of it recently, she's completely lost her sex drive. Our sex life is next to none.Am I right to be annoyed with my gf? Because now I feel unwanted and embarrassed that she acted like that whilst out with my colleagues. She says it was my colleague that started speaking to the two guys, but my gf chose to go up to them with her, chose to talk to them chose to take a shot of them and chose to dance with them. She could have at any point chose to return to the table where I was. But she chose not to.If it was the other way round and she saw me having laughs, jokes, shots and dancing with two girls she would hit the roof!Help
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sex drive, sex life, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2016): Look man I have been in this same situation before. I am going to put it blunt. As far as she is concerned the relationship is OVER. Women usually end a relationship long before they verbally break up with you.You need to tell her that what she did was not only disrespectful to your relationship but that she crossed a boundary that comes with consequences when crossed. Give her an Ultimatum. Either she agrees to work out the issues you are having or the relationship is over. Her reaction to your ultimatum will let you know where your relationship stands. If starts arguing and fighting you then sorry to say but your relationship is unsalvageable. But if she corporates and is willing then you may have a chance. Be strong and stand up for yourself man cause no one else will. Best of luck.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 April 2016):
 Instead of being angry and getting in to another argument I think you both need to sit down and talk to each other about what is going on in the relationship. She was letting her hair down on a night out and didn't seem to want to socialize with you. Now you both need to work out why.
You have been having problems and there has been no intimacy, there must be a reason, something in the relationship must not be working and you both need to talk about it and try to figure out what you both want.
She can blame your colleague all she wants she choose to drink that drink and dance with the guys, although she technically did not do wrong, as she is free to talk to whom she wants. You both need to sit down and figure out if your relationship is worth saving. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 April 2016):
 I think rough time means arguing a lot and that led her to question her relationship with you. People don't just lose their sex drive completely out of nowhere. Taking shots with guys does not mean she would go after them, or wishes to have sex with them. But it certainly means she is looking for sources of fun, and that person isn't you. It seems like your problems weren't fixed and you both sort of gave up. Officially you are still together and you are supposed to still act like a couple but her heart just isn't in it anymore.
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