A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So, I'm 15 and I've never got anywhere with a girl. I'm really, really shy and self conscious. My social life, well I haven't got one and I'm home tutored. I desperately want to find someone, not for the sex or anything but for having a best friend, someone I can just sit on the sofa and watch a movie with. I don't know how to find anyone. I've tried to get to know people on FaceBook but it doesn't seem to work. If anyone could tell me what I'm doing wrong I would greatly appreciate anything. :(
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female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (9 July 2010):
 Hi.
I agree with Denise32.
You sound perfectly nice and genuine, which will set you apart from all the idiotic guys your age out there anyway, so you might end up finding yourself a girlfriend while looking for a best friend anyway!
The first thing I have to say is, you can't sit at home and wait for people to come to you. Join a club or something that sounds interesting and appealing to you, then at least you know that you and the people there will already have something in common! Denise32 was right about church groups too.
The one thing is though, you can't expect instant closeness and friendship, you have to build that kind of relationship with someone so it won't happen straight away. Try joining a club and talking to a a few people there, find out who you share the most things in common with (maybe it'll be a group of people) and try to hang out outside of the club in a group first. One on one time with someone you just met could be awkward.
There are loads of friends out there for you, just go and find them! :)
Peace,
xxx
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (9 July 2010):
 You aren't doing anything wrong! But this is hard for you to know how to proceed.....best thing would be to join a youth club where other boys and girls, and teens get together for organized social events such as playing softball, or a concert, or discussion group, etc. Usually a local church, or synagogue will have such a group. When you do find a social group, you could try approaching a few people who are talking together. To begin with, just listen to what they're saying - maybe they're cracking jokes, talking about football, or something that's been going on at school. Smile as you listen and look as you're really interested in what they're talking about, then you can chime in with a comment of your own. Take some deep breaths and try not to appear too anxious! (easier said than done, sometimes!)
When you notice a girl you'd like to get to know better, smile and say "Hi" or "hello" and tell her your name. If she likes the look of you she will be friendly back.
Remember that girls are shy too! So take it slowly and be as relaxed as you can be.......be friendly and interested without being pushy.......Good luck to you!
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