A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Guys, I'm confused re 'rebound'. I've been dating this guy for about 6 weeks and I'm wondering if I am his rebound? What is the proper definition of a rebound? He was with his ex properly for 5 years then that last couple of years they were 'on/off' and even all of last year they spoke every day. I met him at work. I think he liked me for a few weeks before we went out (first date was 6 weeks ago) but he was always in touch with her and even was thinking about getting back with her about 2 weeks before going out with me but they argued about something and he was very very very angry with her and still is. Does the fact he gets angry with her mean he has strong feelings still? She sounds quite nice I suppose I must admit! This guy has two sons and they both really liked his ex (his sons are from his ex wife beforehand and they divorced about 7 yrs ago and are quite bitter to each other but they are civil now - he resents the fact that his ex wife got half their house and nearly half his pension because he says she never worked full time and he did etc etc!)What actually is a rebound? Am I his rebound? It could have gone eithe way, ie he could have got back with her or gone out with me. Also, re the argument with her if I am honest, it sounds as though he was being unreasonable. I have a feeling that if I wasn't around to distract him he would be tempted by her. The ex is a beautiful well educated woman and if I am honest she sounds caring and lovely and good fun but he complains that she needs to lose some weight and in the past she was a bit bad with money (she says it was due to being a single parent on a low income) but she now earns well and is really sorting herself out. Am I wasting my time? Would I be classed as a 'rebound' even though they didn't see each other for ten months but were still speaking every day and then saw each other three times just before he and I went on our date (at which time he was still angry with her). One other thing is bugging me too. He has quite a temper on him and can be quite rude and has been rude about his exes BUT he says that 'with the right woman I will be ok' and he basically blames them for him losing his temper in this way. BUT his son has also mentioned about his dad being a bit hot headed and when I was on the phone to him the other day I heard him saying something sarcastic and snappy to his son in the background before he came and picked up the phone (his other son had answered and I was holding to speak to him). I would really appreciate insights. I like this man and I really fancy him but I'm worried. Thank you very much for reading this.
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female
reader, KitKite87  +, writes (8 March 2010):
Someone can be a rebound years after. It all depends on whether the man or woman has moved on enough from their previous relationship, and if they feel they can form a serious connection again. If the ex wants him back and is getting in good shape while he talks to her, you're probably not going to get him. If they've been only friends for a while and she's not very involved in his personal daily life anymore, you might get a serious relationship. I think if he talks about her all the time he is still very invested in her. See if he ever specifies whether he is angry at her, still, as a person or he is just angry at events that happened in the past with her.If he has an large anger/blame issue he may not be worth getting into a relationship with rebound or not.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (5 March 2010):
 He complains to YOU about HER? He also said she needs to lose weight? and talked about money? Wow. This guy is a jerk.A nice guy would never accuse his ex to his current girlfriend,especially when he's known her for 6 weeks only and he still talks to her! Seems like a stupid guy to me,and he doesnt know what he wants,he acts like a little girl,you should find yourself a real man.It's himself he has to blame,not other women for his temper.Looks like he will never be happy.He seems to be charming though,and thats why you're so stuck on him.Talking to his sons after 6 weeks only? Ehh...You walked into this thing way too soon,and now i think its time to get out.You will keep getting hurt.I'm sorry.
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