A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Clubbing Question..Where do you stand on clubbing? My significant other likes to go out and club every couple of months. I told her Im ok with anything she does that she would be comfortable doing if I was in the room. Well.. She got wasted one night and was dead set on clubbing. I told her I prefered her not dance. Im ok with her going out and dancing but being drunk. She said stuff happend(ie she was grinding and had to have a friend help get a guy off of her) and it took me a little while to get the full story out of her and I kind of freaked on her a little. Did I over react? I felt like I made the choice not to go out clubbing and dance with other girls but I wasn't pleased when I found out that she was letting it happen. She said she wasn't ok with grinding but she was drunk and it was something that happened.
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male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (16 September 2010):
 This is a dress rehearsal for another incident in the future...who's to say if you really got the whole story.....You expect her to tell you the full story when she says things "happen"???
lol...please dude...things like that don't "happen" just like tripping over a pebble and falling onto a guy's penis in the parking lot does not happen. Booze lowers inhibitions, but the knowledge about boundaries and what would be acceptable behavior is still there. Sounds like your GF is one who believes in the concept of "Asking for forgiveness is better than having permission denied". and that is no one you want to have a long term relationship with.
Because the next time she gets wasted and wants to go Clubbing with the girls you can expect a repeat performance..or worse...
The curb...find the nearest one and dump this chick off at it.
A
female
reader, sizzling1  +, writes (16 September 2010):
no u did not overreact. i agree totally with Odds.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Oh boy, it was the alcohol's fault not hers..right. Well, no one forced alcohol down her throat, and you told her ahead of time no dancing but come on what else are you going to do at a club? Stand there? That's fine if you permit her every so often to go out to clubs with her friends but she can control her actions. She doesn't have to drink to the point of inebriation and she doesn't have to grind on other men. That's what her friends are there for, to dance and interact with. When you have a boyfriend at home there's no need for other men to grope and grind their pelvis into your behind. She needs to grow up and be held accountable for her actions. By going to the clubs and drinking, she is putting herself in that situation. I got a better idea, she shouldn't drink at all or learn how to limit her intake. Or stay at home with her boyfriend instead of going to the clubs, you can get drunk right on the couch. So not you didn't overreact. Next time you might have to go with her.
Truthfully, when I went to clubs I'd go scantily clad with my friends looking to get drunk then dance with cute guys giving me a confidence boost for the night and a few numbers. It's possible to go out to clubs and behave. Usually not common though. Whenever I was in a serious relationship, I wouldn't go out to clubs unless my man candy went with me. Or I would just avoid them altogether, because I knew there was a possibility that I could do something stupid.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (16 September 2010):
 You did not overreact. You get to be upset when your girlfriend gets wasted and grinds on strange men. Gently but firmly let her know, next time she tries to go drunk, that it isn't happening. You obviously trust her while she is sober, so she is in no place to complain.
It would be very good for your relationship to go out with her, though, and dance a little yourself. If you're not comfortable dancing, or don't think you're any good at it - learn.
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