A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I've been liking my coworker for awhile now and at first I really didn't think she was the type of girl I would want. I judged her by how she acted at work where she would be loud and obnoxious playing the strong women role. A mistake in my part because I don't like to judge people and I couldn't be more wrong about this girl. Well this went on for a year until I started looking at her in a different way and realized she's not the person I thought she was. And so I started liking her. We don't usually talk much because my office is so strict and the owner and managers are over protective of the girls working there. So for two months I was trying to figure out when would be the perfect time to talk to her and ask her out and was thinking maybe when I find another job which I'm trying to do because I don't like working there and I don't want the awkwardness if she says no.So one day as she's talking(yelling) to my supervisor in one of her rants and it was about guys and so she asks my opinion about guys. Well I gave it to her and we started emailing each other about our experiences with relationships from out of the blue and started to get to know each other a bit. We couldn't agree with each other enough. We have the same ideas and points of views. She's been hurt pretty bad and so have I. We're both looking for the same thing in a relationship and everything she was saying I would fit the profile of her perfect guy. She said she is currently seeing a guy and specifically told me she does not have a boyfriend. Not sure what that means but she told me she's being careful with this guy. I know myself I can give her what she needs if I had the chance. So after three days of emailing each other I asked for her number after work and she gave it to me. This girl likes to travel and so the next two weekends she was out of town. She would come into work Monday morning and I would text her about her trips. We texted each other at work a lot to each other and I would make her laugh and giving her compliments on her beauty and intelligence. Well we texted each other every other day during work because every time I call her in the evening she's always busy going to the gym and going out and sleeping very early for work. I can't find the right opportunity to really talk to her and get to know each other. Well it's been a while since I last talk to her other than work related. I'm trying to figure out a plan to take her out and get to know each other. Or at least talk to her on the phone so she knows how I really am because at work I'm very quiet and stressed but at home I'm very random and energetic. I'm worried about that if I ask her out she would tell me no because she's seeing this other guy that she's dating. I'm also worried if things do work out can a relationship with coworkers really work. For now I'm being patient and really need someones advice. People have told me to move on from one girl to another and etc. Well it has happened too many times but for once this time I want to make a stand and say this is the girl I'm really interested in and I think she's worth the trouble that I know I'm about to get into. I think we could have something really special. I'm completely stuck. I hope someone can give me some good advice. If I didn't care about this girl I wouldn't be here asking for advice so she does mean something to me and I have one shot at it.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Well you got one chance, so you must take it. Let me clarify something for you. When she said she is "seeing" this other guy that means she's in the stage of getting to know him, testing out the waters, post relationship. Your communication is good with her. If you guys were to get into a relationship you'd have to keep it on the down low and strictly professional at work. Check the company policy regarding fraternization, particularly if there is any restrictions. Generally, I'm against co-worker romances because in the event of a break-up you still have to face that person 5 days a week, and man can it get awkward. However, seeing as you're genuinely into her I say go for it and ask her out before you tip into the friends zone. Plus this guy she is seeing already has one up on you, so it's time to quit stalling.
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