New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245057 questions, 1084625 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

What a dilemma - I'm her only friend and boyfriend but I want out!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 June 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 4 July 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

ok, so. I've been gooing out with this girl for overa year now. But recently she has started acting up. This happens about once a month, but is no actually to do wtih her period, as I know the dates that that occurs on. Anyway, when she acts up I just can't be bothered with her and want to break up with her. However, her recent tantrums have caused everyone in our little group to fall out with her, so im basically her only friend.

What's more, Her mother is threatening to move her to a different school because she has no friends.

I don't want her to move, but I don't want to have these constant fights and be her only friend, as it is starting to ruin my relationships with my other friends.

Ps. She is also incredibly jealous.

View related questions: jealous, period

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009):

I have realized the reason I can´t dump her is because I don´t like accepting the consequenes of my actions. So whenever she starts crying before I´m about to, I just can´t deal with it. All of the replies have given me a lot to think about, and I think I may have come to a decision, but feel free to post more answers if you so desire

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009):

your girlfriend is going through puberty and mood swings and "tantrums" is what naturaly happens.

And as you have said, you have tried to break it up with her before, but something stops you. I think there is a deep feeling you have towards her, and obviously she returns these feelings. Tell her how you feel when she becomes moody, don't be harsh about it, but get the message across.

And as for the friends part, suggest that she tries to join in with conversations. As your friends have fallen out with her, ask them to try and make a fresh start with her, as she may feel intimidated and not make an effort.

Let her know you are there for her but state that the situation with them towards her will not change inless she tries to make it change.

and for the jelousy part, just let her kno how much you do love her and that you only want her, and soon that message will get across.

Hope things work out for you both

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009):

Hey, Author again.

At school and stuff when she throws her tantrums, I get really pissed. However, when its just us to I really like her. It just in large crowds when my attention is spread she can't cope.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, love-struckxo Canada +, writes (20 June 2009):

love-struckxo agony auntYou are clearly only staying in this relationship, because of her feelings towards you.

You are a great guy for not wanting to hurt her feelings, but break up's will never feel good!!

If we all stopped ourselves from breaking up with our girlfriend and boyfriend because we will hurt their feelings, then we would never get out of the relationship!

You have to think about YOURSELF for once. Yes, you will hurt her feelings if you break up with her, but she will move on from it, I promise!

and so will you, and it might be a good thing for her to move, so she can start fresh somewhere new.

Good luck

xxxx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009):

Me here (the writer) again.

Everytime I try to break it off with her I can't. Something stops me.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009):

Darling you are obviously falling out of love with her, i think that you should break it off

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009):

hey,its the writer here. thank u for everything ssaid, but can any new posters focus in on the fact that she will move. Also sges not good at making frinds, so if she was to move, she would spend most of her time crying, just like she did when she first moved t my school.

Also, in reply to a point posted earler, she doesnt care that I wanna be wit my frends. She always gets upset when I talk to them. And its not as if I could include her as they have proper fallen out.

1 last thing. I have tried to end it before, but everytime i come close to saying it, she starts to cry, and when she cries all i want to do is cheer her up, so i end up stopping myself from ending it.

Please adress these points as well as my old ones in ur replies. Thanks

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009):

Just thought I'd say that even if mood swings and what you call "acting up" don't happen during the exact days of a girl's period, they can still be related to the menstrual cycle and all the hormonal shifts that go on in this time.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, love-struckxo Canada +, writes (20 June 2009):

love-struckxo agony auntHm! tough situation. It seems like you really care about her - but I understand that you need to care about yourself too.

If you want to end it - then end it. I am pretty sure she won't want you to stay in the relationship anyways just because you feel sorry for her.

Her fall out from her friends - is not your fault. Yes you have been there for her as a friend and a boyfriend, but where is the signed agreement that this has to be forever?

A year is a long time to be together with someone, especially at this age. Are you sure there is no way you guys can work this out? because if you guys been together for this long you must have real feelings for eachother.

If not, then I suggest talking to her about the way you feel, why you want to end it and so on, don't be cruel about it.

I am sure that somewhere along the road, things will cool off and you guys can be friends.

take care

xxx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "What a dilemma - I'm her only friend and boyfriend but I want out!"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312491999939084!