| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: wouldn't say I'm a bad looking guy. I'm funny and reasonably confident when I want to be. I've got ambition and passion. I am friends with a lot of girls. Usually what tends to happen is I'll meet them on a night out and then progress to texting/speaking to them on Facebook. More casual than calling. I'm not desperate to jump into a relationship and I see calling someone to be waaaaaay too soon in the early stages given the other ways that exist in the modern age.Anyway, something seems to happen almost everytime I try and move things on from flirting and show a genuine interest. The girls get freaked out and nine times out of ten they completely run away and ignore me or things just don't progress and then they fizzle out.As an example, a few weeks ago, I was flirting with a girl I've known for two years. It was all very playful and fun. She'd laugh at me all the time and I could be myself around her. She invited me round her house last weekend. Anyway, after this night at her house (nothing happened) she said "we should have a mental night out" soon. I then said she should come out with me on the Wednesday just gone to see a band I was on the guest list for. It wasn't worded in a "let's go out on a date" way. It was casual and cool. Worded in a way that if she said no it wouldn't be that bad. She ignored me. She contacted me on Monday and we flirted a bit but no mention was made of what I'd asked her previously. I chased her up about it on Tuesday night (again in a cool manner) and she ignored me again. She hasn't spoken to me since in fact.I really don't get what the hell I'm doing wrong. It's not the first time it's happened to me either. Am I just going after the wrong girls? She seemed to be interested in me. She invited me round her house and was being really suggestive. Then since then, it's like I don't exist. It's not the end of the world by any means. She's made her point clear, although I'd have preferred it if she had the nerve to tell me why as opposed to just ignoring me but there's plenty more where she came from. I am just starting to get to a stage where I can't be bothered anymore because it ALWAYS ends in the same way and I really don't know what I'm doing wrong at all.
View related questions:
ambition, facebook, flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jam10  +, writes (9 February 2010):
usually when a girl ignores you it's because you are a bit creepy or she doesn't feel chemistry (or she is thinking about it). it is very important to call her even though we can text or facebook. calling is more personal. most girls get angry when their friends start flirting as well. it is a bit rude because we've already decided how we feel about you and you are implying that you feel differently and that is weird. it is awkward to transition from friend to lover. i also think that persistence is important. a girl likes to know that you care enough to stick around even when you are not getting what you want. if it is not an option at all a girl will tell you clearly "no". ignoring is a shy game we play sometimes when we have to think about it or get used to it. also we don't like to feel like one of many. we want to feel special and like the only girl you ever flirt with. this is why persistence sometimes works. before you are persistent ask one of your friends if you are creepy and try not to be. it sounds like you are english. in my experience english people are quite creepy and a bit annoying. (and horrible in bed) sorry but i'm just being honest.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): Yeah, maybe your not assertive enough...? Flirty-ness :p can really get in the way of Really getting to know someone. How about just talking without the hype? Treat her like a sister, have fun and see if you have interests to carry on good conversations...you do sound like great guy. Maybe too good for the girls you're going for...from what I've seen, the flirty kind of girls are sometimes shallow..sorry
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (2 November 2008):
Yes the internet is making it easier to keep in touch... but you seem to use it as a giant excuse to avoid contact for as long as possible.
If you talk to a girl for too long then you move into the friend zone. And then when you suddenly turn from internet friend to "lets meet up and go on a date" you become crazy internet stalker.
If you go out and meet a girl and she seems interested then JUST ASK HER OUT ON A DATE!!
Then when you go on a date, PUT YOUR ARM ROUND HER!!
You seem like a pretty laid back kind of guy and there is nothing wrong with that but you are in danger of being so laid back you are actually lying down and these girls are just coming to the conclusion that they are wasting their time.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, michele21  +, writes (2 November 2008):
 well lets see i have the opposit affect as you...i always have guys hitting on me flittering but i just don't want a realtionship im in one now with a woman and i am miserable i have to hide everything from her becuase she is so jelous.... but have you tried to contact this female that did this to you??? do you have a close guy friend you can ask what your doing or not doing right?? maybe someone you can confide in maybe even a female friend you are close with but not attracted to like that???? i don't know without seeing you or knowing you i can't tell you maybe that would be eaiser i am a very open minded person and not afraid to be an adult and straight up and honest i have a myspace and face book look me up [email address blocked] if you wana chat more
...............................
|
