A
female
age
41-50,
*otsure inWelland
writes:I am 29 years old and have been dating the love of my life for 2 years now. He is almost 10 years older then me. He was in a past relationship for 13 years and they have a handsome 7 year old son together. We are kind of in a rut I guess you could say, in our relationship.I have yet to be introduced to his son. I knew getting into this relationship, that it would be a difficult transition, but I did not know it would be this hard. I find my self wondering if he can give me what I need out of life. This is an awful way to think. I don't want to doubt h, or his abilities. His ex will not allow me around the son. She too has moved on and has a new man in her life. I have never met her, nor had a conversation with her. I understand she is scared and doesn't want another woman is her sons life. But I am not sure why my boyfriend can't stand up to her. As I said we have been together for 2 years. I think it about time I meet his son. I want nothing more than to move on with our lives together including his son in the picture. I am a good person with a good heart. I don't drink, i don't do drugs and I have a full time job. Other than her being scared I don't understand why she outright hates me so much.I have moved everything out of my apt (shared with roommates) in with him. Yet still every other weekend I have to go the the apt I am never at and sleep on a couch, while his son is over "in our home".I find that I am resenting my boyfriend more and more and not sure what to do about our situation, I am asking you for help and advise.Thank you,April
View related questions:
drugs, his ex, move on, roommate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Notsure inWelland +, writes (21 May 2009):
Notsure inWelland is verified as being by the original poster of the question No I was not the reason there relationship dissolved. There relationship was not good for many years. They did not separate for so long because of his son. Mind you we did start dating not even 2 months after.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): Gina makes a valid point, were you the reason for the breakdown of his marriage. if it was you then have your answer.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): its time your bf grew a few inches in his balls and started to make certain that you are indeed part of his life - permanent. that means telling his son about you and you getting to know him.
i know it hurts you right now but only your bf has the power to change this awful situation. why is he not? he needs to make some major decisions and you too. how much longer can he keep you his dirty secret. how mush longer for him to indicate your existence. he is damaging you and perhaps doesn't even know/care what he is doing.
this child will accept you, you have given a good description of your qualities so i cannot fault you as a "step mom". something has to change. you need to have a heart to heart with your bf and expect some unsettling admissions from him. is he ashamed of you. well then you don't really have a relationship with him.
2 yrs may seem like a lifetime being together but how many more years before something gives. one day you may also decide to have a baby, will he still hide you then as well.
major talking and decsions have to be made. all is not the bf's ex's fault. he too needs to shoulder the blame for treating you so shit.
i know you love him but he is getting it so good currently, at your expense.
...............................
A
male
reader, CommonSpencer  +, writes (13 May 2009):
I don't know why she could have her lover around the boy and not you.. Also i don't know if its possible that she could seek sole custody of the child if she is doing the same thing. Either way too much baggage for my taste. Every time i dated a woman with kids the ex came with it and a bunch of other things like how should i treat the child or should i even be involved with the child at all. On top of it the ex usually puts ideas into their child's head(like your not my dad / don't listen to him he's not your parent / and generally undermining my authority seeing as I had to sometimes watch the wretched child that would not even entertain the idea of liking me(purposefully making messes, insulting me, hitting me). Too many headaches I have had.
...............................
|
