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female
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anonymous
writes: hi,I am in a bit of a emotionally stressful situation, and would really appreciate some advice, because i think at the moment im in "tunnel vision" mode.i have recently started seeing this man, who is much older than what i am, however he doesnt act or look his age so it is sometimes easier to forget his true age.However my problem lies here; he and i have recently ended semi-long term relationships, and i know him through a previous boyfreind of mine. i find myself running after him,unnecesarily. for example, i will drop whatever it is that i am doing to accomodate his plans,(he hardly does this in return) i will call him when ever he asks me to do so, (he never does this. we have been seeing each other for about a month and a half, and are intimate, but still he says he doesnt regard me as his girlfriend,(therefore he said there is no committment required)but on the other hand he will tell me how much he likes me and enjoys spending time with me. at this point he has managed to confuse me drastically. would you find this very respectful ; last night a called him- however in one motion he had picked up the phone and hung up. so i thought that this must have been by mistake, so i immediately called back, just to find that he let it ring until voice mail. ?please can you give me some advice to whether you think he is just messing around with me, or whether there could be something to work with, and whether you think i should stop chassing him, and wait for him to chase me?really appreciate it! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, twilightdiamond  +, writes (17 November 2006):
 Hey.
I have been in similar situation's before and it sounds like he's using you... Never the one to follow my own advice I can hardly tell you to drop him and move on.. (i've never been able to do that, have you?). So my advice is:
1.He probably is using you
2.But only because you're letting him
therefore the smart thing would be to continue on with your life as usual, pretend he doesnt exist, then, if he calls you, you can choose to give him another chance or get rid of him... hope i've been helpful..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): I think he knows just how to make you jump. He has you just where he wants you. Try and back off a bit. Don't phone him and see what happens. Make yourself busy when he rings or calls round. Or, if you ever get to speak to him then ask him what he is playing at. Sit him down and have a chat. Do you want a serious relationship. He sounds like he doesn't. Play it more cool and stop running after him. Have some dignity.
If this doesn't work then quit him and get a one that deserve you and all ov your attention.
best of luck..xx
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