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female
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anonymous
writes: when i first met my boyfriend i was so in love with him that there wasnt a second went by i didnt think of him. but over the years it seem to have gone .now i feel like we dont share anything part from the bills he never makes me feel special anymore and doesnt matter what i do it never is good enough. i know he is not cheating and i know he loves me but i am not sure that he is in love with me. we have been together 4 years and i would do anything to be happy again. help please Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (20 May 2006):
 Honey, I've been married for 11 years, and there have been times when I've taken my wife for granted and vice versa. Fortunately we are both pretty clear communicators and the one being taken for granted will say, "You (or we) don't do such and such any more. Why not?" I suggest you try the same thing AND persist! Furthermore, if he needs what I would call the direct method, simply say that you feel like you are being taken for granted, and that it's taking a toll on the relationship. After telling him a few times either he will respond favourably or he won't.
Let us know how things go, and good luck!
A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (18 May 2006):
 Well. the good news is you've identified a problem. It's a common one too. We all do it from time to time and to different extents. The "it" I'm referring to is taking eachother for granted.
We become complacent and fall into a routine. This is sure to bother you and can manifest itself into resentment towards your partner. Now that you know the problem exists, talk to your partner. Revive that old feeling of a new relationship. Don't be fooled though, it's not a new relationship. It's a relationship that's maturing and changing. It grows as you grow. You can't always have that teenage feeling of excitment. Regular life does set in. What becomes more important is the big picture and the bond you share with your partner. You both need to rremember that and work on meeting eachothers needs. Work on what youhave before you abandon it. The grass is not always greener somewhere else. It's greenest where you water it.
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