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female
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anonymous
writes: i dont know whether I should dump my bf or try again.my problem is that although we live just 10 mins apart and both have mon-fri 9-5 jobs we never see each other, usually just once during the week and fri and sat night.at the beginning it didnt matter as it was still new and we were meeting each other in pubs and looking forward to it all week. also i was working weekends at the time but always made time for him even if i idnt get home til 11pm and had to be again at 7am the next morning,i didnt mind. he even took me to paris 2 months after we met, and we'v been on a couple of mini breaks since.about 4 months ago (we'r together 8 months) i mentioned it casually that we only saw each other at weekends, at the time it we only saw each other fri night and sat night and he started to see me once during the week.this sounds like i want him to do all the work, but i was always suggesting meeting up, usually for the cinema or a meal as i thought maybe he's uncomfortable at mine durin the week as all my housemates are around-they make every effort to make him feel comfortable when they meet.this meeting that extra day lasted about 2-3 weeks and i tried not to complain but after another month of just weekends i said it again, a little more assertively, he said he knew it had fallen but that he'd had a lot on (i know he had extra stress at the time) and didnt realise it bothered me so things improved.it lasted 2 weeks.so another 2 weeks later, to give him time to redeem himself i found myself bringing it up again, i got upset and cried which i tried not to do so he said he was sorry,that it was all his fault and things would be better.that was a month ago and thins are starting to slack again, although i wasnt happy with just once during the week extra i didnt want to be a nag.he bought a house and is busy with solicitors and furnishing it, he also has extra stuff on at work and im trying to be patient but at the end of the day if he really liked/loved me wouldnt he make time for me?is there any point in me bringing this up again?i feel like his biggest inconvenience at the moment, which i told him the last time i brought it up and he got very upset that i felt like that but maybe i ruined my chances of getting an honest answer bacause i allowed myself to get so upset that i cried (i rarely cry,he would never have seen me so upset before)should i just end it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2006): Totally agree with Anja - enjoy the time apart to do other activities. You'll also have the added bonus of having loads of extra things to talk about when you do meet up! Hopefully, he'll see think how lucky he is to have a independent, sassy woman and things will be on track again soon. Don't forget, moving house is one of the most stressful events anyone can go through.
A
female
reader, Anja +, writes (18 May 2006):
 The fact that he was upset about you being upset, shows at least he cares. Don't rush into a decision. I don't think you should end it. It sounds like he has had some genuine reasons for being pre-occupied. It was made worse probably for the fact that you have not been as pre-occupied as him. Men have a habit of 'forgetting' about those closest to them when they have lots going on around them. Don't take it personally. I hope that the two of you will find that important time to be together again soon. Easier said then done I know, maybe try and go out yourself more, do something to occupy your time, and equally enjoy the time you have to yourself and the limited time (at present) that you have with your b/f!!
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