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female
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anonymous
writes: this may be a long question but please bare with me... alright... well you see my best friend is a boy we have been best friends since gr 7 i love him to death... we have been physicaly doing stuff together (sexaul stuff ) since gr 8 i am now in gr 11.. but me and my best friend went out as a couple for 7 months and broke up.. then after 3 days later he came over and that night he touched me and we had sex i thought that maybe we would get back together but i was wrong, i havent stopped having sex with him and it's been 6 months after our break up.. i honestly love him i don't wanna loss him... but when he's with other people it's like i dont exist, like he shuts me out you know... he makes fun of me a lot calling me names and stuff... i just take it. it's like i always blame myself for what he's done and if i don't then he's sad and i HATE seeing him sad.... but now our friendship is getting to be so bad like it's nothing and i hurt so much i just wanna cry... all my friends have told me to drop him, but with a history that big but you dont know it all i'd have to be here all day... but it comes down to should i tell him i need space? thats it's over between us for good no friends no nothing? because you see i can't talk to him bc he doesn't listen and he doesn't really care that much! so i need to know other things i can do! please please help me.........
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reader, megz x-x +, writes (9 March 2006):
 Your obviously more of a giver than a taker...in more than the sexual sense. I know your obviously very protective over him but you have to see that he has NO right to treat you this way.I have no doubt that he loves and cares for you, but im not sure its in the way that you want him to. He knows that you will always be there not matter how vile he is to you. That has got to stopThere is no reason why you cant stay friends as long as he learns to respect you. There are two ways of going about this; 1) Direct him to his face sit him down and tell him you love him...but you are NOT a doormat. He must start treating you with some respect toher one day you may not be there to comfort him.or 2) Just leave him to cool for a while makes some new friends and he will soon subtly get the message that his bad behaviour is not rewarded with your attentionYou seem like a loving kind sweet and genirous person, but please please dont get walked over. Ive had a best friend since yr 2 he was my first love and were still best friends...it can be done. But not when you the only one giving
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female
reader, juliagulia  +, writes (8 March 2006):
 For one thing, I think you should stop having sex with him (at least for now). It sounds like having sex has made things a lot more complicated and emotional for you and that he is taking it for granted. He is young and most likely just "showing off" with his hurtful comments and such. You need to decide what you want from the relationship and communicate that to him. If he isn't willing to change his behavior and treat you as a real girlfriend or even a friend, then you need to give it some time and space and stop spending time with him until things seem to blow over. You could work things out a few months from now when it seems less complicated. Then you will have some insight to see what really happened and what you want out of your friendship.
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