A
female
 ,
*eratuki
writes:I have been engaged to this guy for a little over a year now, and things between us are good, but when he moved here to live with me, since I own my home and I live about a hour away from his hometown, all his friends have been telling him he's crazy for moving, saying they're calling and I'm not telling him, that I sent them a computer virus in an email, that I've been making harrasing phone calls to his mother, all of which is totally NOT TRUE!!!His parents pretty much hate me, and make no bones about stating that, telling him, "You're not really in love with her, she's using you, she'll pull you down and saddle you with kids you have to pay child support for".Even his aunt and uncle are telling him this stuff, and I've said a total of maybe 5 sentances to them. This whole time I've remained silent, I figured it wasn't my place since they are his family. But I'm sick of sitting here and just taking this stuff.And then there's this girl, She and my BF have been in a relationship in the past, and they seem to keep beating around the bush about liking each other. She puts me down to him, tells him he chose me over her, calls me crazy. all this time he insists on still IM'ing her because she's his "Friend" and he's known her his whole life.I don't know what to do here, but I'm tired of sitting here with my mouth shut like an idiot.Thanks
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female
reader, StarNews +, writes (31 December 2005):
 I wouldnt worry about what other people think. It sounds like his parents are meddling in your life because they dont have one. You are a threat to them. They probably despise the fact that their son left home to live with you.
If he truly loves you, when his parents and friends say these awful things about you, he will speak up in your defense. If he allows them to put you down, then he is adding fuel to the fire.
What kind of friends does he have? I believe that a person's friends are a true reflection of who they are.
About his having contact with his ex girlfriend, this is something you need to discuss with him. Tell him you dont like it and how it makes you feel. Reverse the situation as an example. If he doesnt understand that this hurts you, then he has no respect for your feelings.
It sounds like he is letting everyone else control his life and it is having a negative effect on your relationship. You have got your life together and he is a disruption. He needs to decide what is most important, and if he doesnt choose you, then you dont need him.
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