A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I told my boyfriend, who I've been dating for a little over 9 months that I'm in love with him (neither of us have ever said that before). I thought it would go over well and he would say it back, but it would have been okay if he didn't, but instead he kissed me on the cheek and said "We're too young to be in love." I really don't know what to make of that. At the time I was just soaking it all in and to be honest, i was feeling kind of rejected so I didn't push it or really even say anything. But now I'm just confused. What am I supposed to make of a statement like that? Do you guys have any idea what he meant by it or why he'd say that? Should I ask him or let it go? Thanks :) Reply to this Question
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male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (1 December 2010):
As a male, I completely understand where he's coming off. I've been in relationships in high school where I felt with every urge of my being to tell the girl that I loved her, yet somehow I knew that it was something I couldn't take back.
People never stop growing. Think of how much you thought you knew when you were, let's say, 13... Do you look back and think "Wow...I had no idea what I was doing." Probably :) Well that won't change. Even today, my 21 year old self looks back at my 18 year old self and laughs at the decisions I made, and I'm sure it will continue to happen as I grow and learn new things.
Does love require an age? No, not specifically, but it does take a lot of maturity. There are too many chemicals being produced in your brain during the early stages of a relationship, making you "feel" certain ways that can be misinterpreted as love. I'm not saying love doesn't exist, but it does take time to find. Years even! You'd be surprise how little you actually know about someone until you've lived with them.
I guess the point of all this is; be patient with him. This doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that he isn't trying to love you; it simply means he's taking his time, thinking it over, and making sure it isn't just the hormones talking. I guess this is where men and women differ; men are more analytical where women think emotionally. Neither is right or wrong, but the different thinking processes can cause problems when neither party understands what the other wants.
Talk to him. Ask him what he thinks about "love" and see what he has to say. And honestly listen, don't look like you're on the verge of getting emotional if he says something "wrong;" this way he'll open up more.
Best of luck :) I'm sure all will be well
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): I'm sorry:( that really sucks. but, you are NOT too young to be in love. love doesn't have an age, personally, I don't think being older, or younger changes the way you feel about someone. maybe he was just caught of guard. if you two stay together longer, then there's a chance he might just say it back one day. hope everything works out for you:)!
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 You are not " too young to be in love" but it might be a bit early in the relationship to feel love. You just took him by surprise, that's it. What you are love, feeling is most likely lust, not love, you need to spend a lot longer getting to know someone before lust can truly come love. Don't feel rejected hun, he just wasn't expecting that just yet and responded very maturely. At your age, guys are usually the ones who say I love you wayyy too early, in hopes of being charming and scoring points with their gf. I started dating my hs bf when I was 16 and we both thought we were in love but looking back it was just intense chemistry and mostly hormones, that love does not compare to the love i have felt as an adult. Don't be upset and don't bug him about it, act normal and just be yourself and let him be the one who sais it first next time:)
Good luck hun
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