A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18, he's 56. Amazingly enough we have connected. Emotionally, physically, and spirtually. We just clicked. We talk all the time and love each other but our WIDE age difference(38 to be exact) is a big problem!!! I've never told my parents about my feelings towards him and his to me because they'll look at him like some kind of a freak! We can't solve this and it's emotionally stressing us both out!!! When you fall in love you just do! And as much as we would like to we can't run away togather, were too attached to our family but we love each other alot! What do we do? What can we do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe are still seeing each other, there is no sex in our relationship if anyone's wondering, and no he isn't rich. He's a average joe with a average job.To me I think if the younger person is mature,like myself, in attitude. It is important to share intrests and values. When two people really connect and love each other in a GENUINE way, why should age matter? There should be spiritual emotional and mental compatibility between two people, not age.
A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (18 November 2007):
 hey,
you have to be careful, very careful, your family loves you for sue and they don't want anything that might hurt you!
maybe you need more time to know this man, and see if you can trust him.
and when you are sure about this man, try to talk to your family , and show them what you see in him! it maybe a disaster ,but i don't think runing away with him is a good answer because, MAYBE you got married and after that got divorced, you will only have your family then.
anyways take care byeXxX
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): You can't really help who you fall for. But you must have misgivings in some small part of your brain.
Otherwise you wouldn't have posted here.
You are 18 and can do whoever you wish, old or not. Just be careful because whn you hit you sexual peak he'll be like 80 and generally unable to fulfill your desires.
Flynn 24
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): The main concern here is if you are mature enough to understand people in general will never accept this relationship completely. Second, Are you sure this man is available? Third, Are you sure his feelings for you are just pure and not pure lust? Fourth, Do you know the biggest problem between couples of different ages strive in the way the older one never let's the younger one live through their normal younger phases and that ends up ruining the relationship. Most of the time older men become easily grumpy and you should take that into consideration also. You should have answers to all these because those are the questions you'll be getting a lot.
With all that said I'm nobody to tell you you can't go ahead with this relationship. It's weird but nobody should tell you what you must feel or not.
Are you sure your family already knows you like older men? I think you should give them hints so they won't faint when they learn who's your current bf.
If you both are old fashioned when it comes to family I believe there's no other way for you to deal with this but to tell both sides of the family. Wait until the relationship is strong enough to handle rejection and prejudice. But I can't see how are you going to be happy if when you realize that you may be together and you may be living with your families but they won't approve.
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male
reader, helpfulguy7352  +, writes (18 November 2007):
I know this older guy seems like exactly what you need, but he's not. The way you feel about him shouldn't be expressed the way you're thinking of because of one important factor in a good relationship. Equality.
I know what its like to really like an older guy. But without equality, things will end up very badly. If you really like an older guy, you could be good friends. Its very healthy to have friends that aren't your age. If he won't have anything less than a romantic relationship though, he's probably not worth having as a friend. Would you be in a relationship with a guy 38 years younger than you 38 years from now?
Think about all the experience you've had over the last 2 or 3 years. Everything that's happened,how much you've grown. Times that by 10, and you've got how far ahead of you he is. Age difference means an experience difference. The experience difference is too great for you to be equals.
Even though I personally can't help but think,what does he want out of the relationship with you,lets say he is an awesome guy. BE FRIENDS. If he cares about you,he'll help you instead of taking you.
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female
reader, confusedbutdeeplyinlove +, writes (18 November 2007):
Well first of all I'd like to say that that is too big of an age difference he is definetly old enough to be ur dad but I'm not gonna judge cause I was once in your shoes and long story short it didn't work out. And your right you can't help who you fall in love with. um I don't know what to tell you to do other than if you two really love each other and think its meant to be then you'll both do whatever it takes to be together even if it means leaving your familys behind. I wish you two good luck.
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reader, Kana Boi  +, writes (18 November 2007):
... Tell your family about your relationship and if they don't like try to get them to see... But dating a 53 year old is very wrong on so many different levels.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): Okay, i want you to understand something. You have feelings of love, yes, however, they are not of a sexual nature, rather, of acceptance, and caring. He represents a "father" figure...you feel safe and needed. He, on the other hand, should be ashamed of himself. I know you may get upset hearing that, but understand this. He knows he cannot give you what you want or need, as you have family involved. Second, he is preying on your youth and honesty by telling you he "loves" you...I don't doubt your feelings, however, you must stop being deluded by the romantic notion of "he's older and i love him" and recognize that he is nothing but an old man who is using the emotions of an inexperienced girl for his benefit.
Sorry to be harsh, but you will understand if you really think hard about it.
good luck
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