A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I went on a date with a guy who came across as very intelligent, confident etc. He was very pedantic about the fact he wanted to pick me up, and pay for everything, we had some coffee, he then took me to see a movie in which he insisted it probably isn't the best thing to do on a first date, and then we had dinner and a few drinks afterwards. He did the 'Palm reading' where he looked and spoke about my palms- the difference between his and mine. At many times during the night he would cuddle up to me and kiss me on the forehead and hold my hand-this was further into the night as we obviously both felt more comfortable. We talked about everything, he spoke about what he wants in a relationship and that is not looking to fool around. He spoke about what he wants in a girl. We are of different cultures and he said he's always wanted to end up with a Caucasian woman(he's Asian)-he's dated a few. We both freely spoke about his culture and that its great we can both get along great, he mentioned that we both clicked and had a connection and asked if I felt the same. He was very opened about his work and spoke about it for quite sometime. He told me I was very attractive, when I took my hair down he said he liked it like that. At one point that sort of alarmed me was that he indirectly spoke about us having a relationship(he's 30, I'm 10 years younger) and that he talked about that if he's going to be in a relationship, he would like the lady to live with him, not sure if he meant before marriage or not.Anyway all went well, he dropped me home and asked if he could do something tomorrow(today) after work, I told him we should do something tomorrow night. He then called me a few minutes ago saying he was in the area and wanted to pick me up? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, molliejay  +, writes (6 July 2015):
 Hi there, My main feelings towards this, was that he only spoke of what he wants in a relationship, rather that you talking about your wants and needs. some women enjoy the man taking charge, others don't. Do what makes you feel comfortable. At 30 years, he may feel that he's lived his youth and ready to settle down. But at 20, you've still got a long way to go, and have fun. But if your ready then what'sstopping you. I wouldn't recommend moving in straight away, as its far too soon, and you need to know him properly first. I would suggest at least 1 year before you commit to that. Maybe spread your dates out, once a week or something. rather than the very next day, and agree on a time, rather than him calling when he's ready.He may just feel like he's loosing out on time, or his friends are all settled with wives and kids.your second date may be much better and you'll wonder what you were ever worried aboutTake care, Mollie Jayx
A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (6 July 2015):
 I would like to put a precursor to this post. I am not in any way trying to reflect in a negative way on a race..I am just making my own personal observations. I am not racist.
Ok, with that out of the way..
I have dated only Asian men for the last 15 years. It have been my experience that they can be very headstrong, stubborn and one minded. They do like to be in charge in a relationship. This isn't bad for the most part, it just seems to be the way that they are. I am actually married to a Japanese man so I am not just making outrageous statements, please understand.
In your case, the guy is older by 10 years and perhaps feels that he needs to take the lead. He is moving very very quickly though. Make sure of what YOU want..don't let his age influence you or make you feel insecure or unsure. He could be controlling, perhaps not. I don't know. But I do know that you need to stand up for yourself no matter what. Do what feels right for you and don't be pushed or hurried in any way.
One thing I will say..my husband is very good of taking care of things and I love that. I like knowing that someone is looking out for me. I'm perfectly fine with that. Some women are not. It all depends on the person.
I wish you the very best. Move at your OWN pace...not his.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2015): Sweet girl, the answer is as clear as anything.He is trying to rush into things to soon.Things are moving far to quickly and hes trying to run before he can walk.You've both only been on ONE date, thats not enough time to know if this guy is for you.Tell him to take things slower, that way, things won't get messy!Good luck. :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 July 2015):
 He is 30 and ready to settle down.
You are 20... and still learning the ropes. My guess is your "youth" is one of the reasons he likes you. YOU being so young might mean that you will defer to him and his "wisdom".
If you like him, I'd suggest going REAL slow. AND do NOT move in with him the first year - 18 months. There really is no rush.
As for the intimate kisses and cuddling on the first date, well if YOU were comfortable I guess it's a good sign.
What I notice a LOT in your post is you saying... He said, He wants, he this, he that... Did you two also speak about what YOU want? (in a relationship and in life).
If he calls and expects you to be ready at the drop of a hat I actually thinks that is rude. It's nice that he wants to see you again so soon, but to me it feels a little like he is pushing this IDEAL relationship on you.
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