A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I been working with this company for a year…my coworker are really cool…One of them has become my closest guy friend, his gf broke up with him after 4 yrs in November of last yr…I was there for him through those tough times. In February of this yr I started to notice he flirted more and more. I’m not going to lie there is something about him that I like. Well in April we slept together…but he was kinda going out with this girl. Now, I made it clear that the friends with benefits didn’t work for me, because am the type of women that needs that special connection in order to have intimacy, he understood, we been fooling around ever since. Now he is with this girl they have a relationship but since the girl is religious they are not sleeping together. He has only gotten to 1st base with her after two months. He told me that if he starts to feel stronger feelings for her then he would let me know. Every time we r fooling around and I mention his gf he’s like don’t mentioned her. I told him that he’s cheating on her…and completely ignored that fact. But I have realized that his using both of us…I am talking to this other guy, and sort dating him…I just feel that every time am with my friend I fall under the temptation and the next day I feel emotionally drained what can I do? I do value he’s friendship and he’s a great coworker. I just don’t know how to get out of this situation.
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broke up, co-worker, first base, flirt, friend with benefits Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 June 2010):
You are being used and used and used here. I just know the moment this other girl opens up, you'll get the push. Why, oh why do women fall for the cheating man so much? There is nothing redeeming about this man at all. He's just a lying cheat. And he's such a good friend and co-worker that he's using two women willingly, and doesn't give a damn. A good friend? A cool coworker? Nope, he's just a lying asshole. Quit with all the lying and the cheating and get on with your life. Because you can be sure of one thing. If this gets out, your reputation as a woman and a person will be left in the gutter. His won't. It's a well known fact that the mistress comes of worse than the man, and this sort of thing can have a HUGE effect on how other people (particularly potential boyfriends) view you. After all, what man can trust a woman who will go with another woman's man? And what woman could ever trust another woman who might take her husband/boyfriend? I'm not sure you realize the effect that this is having on you. You need to end it and get away from this guy.
A
female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 You say you need more of a connection to be intimate, and you're fully aware he has a girlfriend, yet you're still having sex with him? Cut off all contact with him, there's no way you'll be able to stay 'just friends' judging by your poor impulse control.
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