A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now and plan to be married August of this year. We are both 34 years old. I work mostly days and him nights. We get along well for the most part. The main problem is sex actually. I want to make love at least twice a week. Him only once a week if that. He says it is not anything to do with me and him don't know why he doesn't want to much. I schedule myself at least one day off a week that he has and there are plenty of times we can other than that so that's not it. What is wrong with me?? I don't want this to tear us apart as I love him so much and know he loves me.Thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell all, He has asked me to marry him and I said yes. I do love him but don't know why he isn't interested in sex all that much. I do hope it is because he works nights. I just hope we don't have problems in the future becasue of this. Thanks for all your advice.
A
male
reader, W  +, writes (30 January 2007):
Maybe he's just tired, and if he can switch to days things will change. I hope this is fixable and you'll actually be great together, but I have to admit this happened to me before I got married and now I wish I'd talked to someone about it, as you're doing here. Maybe waiting a bit longer before committing yourself isn't such a bad idea either. You're taking it seriously and that is quite right.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is trying to get on days. I am pretty important where I work and can't just change jobs. I just keep thinking he is only 34 so it must be something wrong with me. I have sex toys but it isn't the same. Then if he knows I used em he acts upset about it. I am not happy with once a week sex. I keep thinking things will change once he gets on days but what if it doesn't? I have talked to him about it but then we argue cuz I swear something is wrong with me, and he says it's not me. Maybe we should wait to get married maybe next year??
Thanks all your answers helped in one way or another.
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A
female
reader, jabey +, writes (26 January 2007):
is he a similar age to you ? the thing is women often reach their sexual peak in their thirties and do feel like sex often. Men reach their sexual peak when they are alot younger. Some men still want loads of sex as they get older, but other men dont need or want it so much. Also when they have been working hard and are tired its hard to get going. I mean in reality often they do more of the physical work. My chap is 36 works hard and is a bit unfit and my god after a good sex session he is shattered lol. And he often wants it but i can tell really has not got the energy. So I just give him a nice blow job, so he does not have to do any work. My libido is high but I dont take offense if he has not got the energy to do it. I would rather a wonderful once a week, and lots of cuddles and kisses in the meantime. Dont worry he loves you you love him. And Im sure he desires you, but just feels a bit tired. Get a good vibro and sort yourself out if you get frustrated. Good luck, dont worry and enjoy the weddingxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2007): You need to have a serious talk before you go ahead with this wedding. If you have any doubts at all then do not do it. He probably feels the same way. Can you not both work days or nights? Maybe get some other jobs so you see each other more. That doesn't seem like a life to me.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (26 January 2007):
 If you have a day off work and he's working nights he's probably too shattered to do the deed. If you're really unhappy about the lack of sex now you need to talk to him about it or come to terms with once a week sex. Don't get married with anything that will irritate you hanging over you because itll only bother you ten times more when you're married.
CD
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