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My girlfriend and my best friend live at each others' houses in my absence! What's going on?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 June 2014) 9 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2014)
A male United States age 30-35, *aliborn89 writes:

So, I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years and she is the love of my life, I can't picture my life without her. but recently she has been hanging around with my best friend alot, I recently found out that (after we had a huge argument) she went away for a week to his house (he lives in another town) and now that she's back he is staying at her house even when I leave...and when I am around neither of them really talk to me, they pay more attention and talk to each other, am I just being paranoid or does this seem wrong to anyone else?

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A female reader, petina1 United Kingdom +, writes (13 June 2014):

petina1 agony auntLeave them to it. They both haven't the decency to tell you they are an item. Move on and find someone else who will care for you because you are being treated like a mug

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (13 June 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou're NOT "being paranoid"..... What your ARE is the "fifth wheel".....

Give up on both the girl AND this guy who you claim is "your friend"... Some friend... screwing your G/F when you are not around!!!!!

Good luck...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (12 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntYes, it's weird. Specially if they both semi-ignore you when you are there.

End it with the GF and dump your best friend because he clearly value his libido more then his friendship.

If there was nothing weird about it, your GF would have brought up that your bestie was going to stay with her for a while for xx reason, she didn't because frankly she doesn't give an F.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (12 June 2014):

Dionee' agony auntOk honestly, yes there is something terribly wrong. You know that. We know that. We don't have to be flies on the wall of your so called 'best friend's' house to see it.

As others have already mentioned, just leave them both alone. Cut them out of your life. Seems like they're shady and backstabbing so really, they deserve each other. Let them have each other. They make the selfish decision each time they spend the night/s together.

Cut them out of your life and go on and do what you have to do. Live your life without them because it seems like they're together and they don't care about you or your feelings.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (12 June 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntIt is very clear what is happening - dump this girl and do yourself a favour, and I wouldn't bother with your so called friend either.

Imaging if the situation was reversed....you and her had a fight so you went and spent a week sleeping at her female best friends house. Then this female friend of hers moves in with you, with no explanation, and the two of you hardly notice your Gf is there because your two busy paying each other attention. She would be the first to complain then!

It sounds like she has already moved on from you and the argument you had was enough to make her get together with your mate. Instead of finishing with you, she either wants you to take the hint as she hasn't got the balls to tell you its over, or she is doing it out of spite. Either way, she has betrayed you, at least emotionally, and lost your trust.

Mark

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (12 June 2014):

llifton agony auntYeah. Something is DEFINITELY wrong. She stayed at his house for a week after you two had a fight??? And then he stays with her when you're not there?? Wow. Something is going on behind your back. That's messed up.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (12 June 2014):

Sorry but you know the answer. Dump both of them. They deserve each other. Don't feel too bad, you're ridding yourself of two people who don't deserve your company. Find new friends and a new woman you can trust.

Also, while it's natural to feel hurt by this it really only means you aren't compatible.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2014):

yeah there is a prblm ur friend might be hittin' ur gal, if ur gal love u dearly she cnt be with with ur friend behind ur bak thats betrayal

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (12 June 2014):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Imagine your girlfriend as your wife, and then ask that question. Would it be okay for your wife to be sleeping at your best friend’s home for a week, because you had an argument?

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